Tuesday, June 07, 2005

That's hot

Yup, I've been sick.

Truly, as in my nose has been running so fast and so long that I'm certain I am 100% void of any body fluid by now. As in my sinuses have been hijacked by Saddam Hussein. As in PLEASE KILL ME AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY.

This after almost a week of saying to my co-workers, "Don't worry, it's just seasonal allergies!"

Tee hee. MORTAL FOOLS! You will all get sick now. Very very sick.

Dear god, they do not MAKE anything for the cold I had. Actifed, which totally knocks me unconscious but always dries me up like a champ, had no effect. Ditto for Benadryl, even the SEVERE cold & allergy formula. And the cute little-yellow-different Tylenol Sinus pills? Ha.

Ha ha ha.


I could barely make it through the line at Safeway, clutching my jumbo-size Kleenex and wheezing-dripping-sneezing as horrified shoppers slowly backed away, abandoning their Gala apples and pints of Chunky Monkey. I even hallucinated that Brad and Angelina were studying me from the cover of US Weekly.

"Ew. Why doesn't that chick stay home?" Brad asked handsomely.

"Come," Angelina pouted. "We'll help her if we have any time left over after we adopt all the children in Cambodia."

Then I saw Nicole Richie beckoning from her place in between Lindsey Lohan and Mary Kate Olsen.

"Psssst. Sick lady! Hand me that ice cream."

I think I was pressing a half-melted pint of Ben & Jerry's against the magazine rack when the cashier turned off her light and ran for safety.

That's hot.

2 Comments:

Blogger Donna-Jean said...

Just a note to say I came upon your blog, was intrigued by the title, and ended up reading every word. I laughed out loud several times, and related to the whole diary thing. Know you brought a smile to someone's day! (Loved the whole thing with the magazine covers, too - very funny!)

10:18 AM  
Blogger Cole said...

I accidentally stumbled upon this blog, as well. And as strange as it is, it helped me find my calling. Kind of. If you wish to know more about what I'm talking about, view my blog @ http://tobeinganusforonceinsteadofathem.blogspot.com/. The entry's titled 'The Future's Open Wide..." Heh, now I feel creepy for commenting on a stranger's blog.

11:22 PM  

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