Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Just Curious

Why do I suddenly want to eat large quantities of sugar today?

And why is there no sugar to be found?

Why do I keep singing Total Eclipse of the Heart?

How am I able to suppress the powerful urge to also do an accompanying interpretive dance?

Why do you always find fuzzy pennies in the bottom of your junk drawer?

When you stop at a stop sign, why do you always see long strands of tape from audiocassettes littering the median?

When the dog has to throw up, why does he jump up on the couch and angle his mouth in such a way that the yuck goes on the cushion, drips down the front of the couch, and lands on the area rug underneath?

Why does said dog not choose to go instead to any one of the numerous, hard-surfaced and easy-to-clean places in the house?

Why does gas suddenly cost $3 a gallon?

Is God punishing me for buying a larger car last summer after driving a sardine tin for 12 years?

How is it that I can look for my car keys in the key dish FIVE TIMES and not spy them until the SIXTH?

Why do I continuously stab myself on a pair of misplaced super-sharp tweezers whenever I reach into my bag, but never remove said tweezers to prevent future stabbing?

Why do I inevitably turn the channel to Animal Cops just as they are showing some poor dog that has been nearly starved to death?

Why do I cry so much over things I see on TV?

Why does my dog’s leg kick when I scratch him in that one spot on his belly?

Why does it feel so good to know that I vacuumed under the couches, even though no one can see under them?

How come I don’t have my own personal pastry chef?

And why isn’t he/she serving me a lemon meringue pie right now?


Anonymous jenny-bean said...

mmm... pie.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Give in to the urge for sugar and interpretive dance.

And I've often wondered the same thing about my dog and vomitting. I'm considering trying to train her to vomit in the same spot, at least, rather than hitting a new spot each time.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

The world may never know. :)

9:22 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Lisa, I gave in, but I had to wait until I got home. Methinks library patrons would not understand a librarian leaping through the stacks. Even quiet leaping would be a stretch.

7:32 PM  

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