Monday, August 08, 2005

Non-solitary Confinement

We are in the midst of another rain storm here. Alex has been sleeping on my feet, in the dark cave under the desk, curled up as tightly as possible. I got up a minute ago to use the bathroom and he followed close on my heels, sitting in front of the toilet and staring with his huge brown eyes.

It was a little disconcerting. Is this what it's like when you have kids? No bathroom privacy?

I was guilty of bathroom infiltration when I was a kid. It seemed like whenever I needed my mom, she was in the bathroom. So as not to mortify my mother, her bodily functions were all very normal and she didn't use the bathroom more frequently than anyone else. But whenever she went in and shut that bathroom door, PANIC SET IN and my brother and sister and I would hyperventilate and hang from the doorknob and gasp and wiggle our fingers under the door because HOW COULD WE LIVE WITHOUT HER FOR TWO MINUTES.

MOMMY? MOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? WHY? WHY CAN'T WE HAVE COOKIES BEFORE DINNER? WHY WAS THERE A DWARF NAMED DOPEY? 'CAUSE THE OTHER ONES DIDN'T LIKE HIM? WHY? CAN YOU SEE MY EYEBALL UNDER THE DOOR? I CAN SEE YOUR TOES. MOOOOMMY... KIM IS LICKING THE WALL! CAN THAT KILL HER? WHY NOT?

When we were older and more subtle, slipping a note and a small pencil under the door was a classic move.


MOM.

CAN I GO TO BECKYS HOUSE. ?

YES NO
[PLEES CURCLE ONE]



God bless all the people in the world who just want to use the bathroom without being studied, questioned, guilted, or surveyed. At least my dog can't talk or write.

Sorry, mom.

4 Comments:

Blogger Frema said...

This is hysterical.

When my sister and I were little, there was no shyness when it came to the bathroom. Hell, sometimes we'd share it if we both had to go. Looking back, I'm not sure how we didn't pee all over ourselves....

4:59 PM  
Anonymous jenny-bean said...

:)

12:38 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

i visited alex's pictures today :)

he is somehow very comforting to look at.

1:55 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

I'll try to post some more Alex pictures soon. I think I took some at the dog park last weekend. :)

8:58 AM  

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