Friday, October 28, 2005

Holy Hell

This year, my parents live in Florida.

This year, my brother and sister live in Brooklyn.

This year, our house is conveniently located between those two places.

This year I said, “We don’t want to travel anywhere for Thanksgiving, so anyone who wants to can come stay with us! We’ll make margaritas! Hee!”

Because the only thing better than hosting 14 people is hosting 14 intoxicated people.

This year, I must have lost my mind.

A few days ago I sent my husband a confusing email that mentioned my aunt and uncle’s plan to visit my parents, and for a few heart-pounding minutes he thought my aunt and uncle were going to visit my parents at our house.

So, he typed, we might have 16? Well, the more the merrier. Heh heh.

Heh?

HELL NO. I wrote back. WE ARE NOT INVITING ANYONE ELSE. IF ANYONE ELSE COMES WE WILL TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND HIDE BEHIND THE COUCH.

Oh, good. You almost made me COL.

Huh?

Cry out loud.


I can’t wait to have everyone over, but I might need some divine assistance. I knew I should have gotten myself blessed when Alex did.

7 Comments:

Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

I can bless you! I'm an ordained minister of the Universal Light Church!

Hee hee, I did it on a whim one day....

2:15 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

I *wish* I could get my family to visit me; they only live three hours away. My mother hates to be in cars. She clutches the door and slams on her imaginary break after fifteen minutes of being in the passenger seat.

I have a fantastic sister ("Sam in the City" on my blogroll) who would love to stop by, but her car dies at least once a day, so she's waiting until she and the hubby can afford a new(er) car.

PS - sorry for the triple posting. Damn grammatical/spelling errors!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I think you get automatic sainthood just for inviting that many people to your home for a major holiday.

I'm going to be a Thanksgiving grouch and stay home with my dog that whole weekend.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bdogg, please, give me a blessing! I will print it and hang it up in the kitchen and reflect on it as I am slaving away over a hot stove...

3:46 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hehe ;) I'm sure it will generate many interesting blog stories ;)

A friend of ours considered getting ordained that way so she could marry me and D (I'm Catholic, he's Jewish, and there are no justices of the peace in NY), but she was afraid she'd be excommunicated???? We ended up getting an "interfaith minister."

3:56 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

I will see what I can piece together so you can have family over in peace!

4:34 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bearette- my husband is Catholic, but luckily he knew a fairly liberal priest who was willing to participate in the ceremony, even if it wasn't in a Catholic church.

Frema- Thought my mom was the only one who knew about the invisible brake pedal!

Lisa- can I come to your place for Thanksgiving?

Bdogg- thanks!

11:03 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home