Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Massaged, Extracted, Polished, and Totally Without Sexy Shoes

In November M revealed my big Christmas surprise, and Saturday was the big day. At noon I was off to a day spa where I was pampered and reminded once again (during the massage) that I hold a lot of tension between my shoulder blades. This is the third professional massage I’ve had, and it was the third time I’ve heard, “Wow! You’ve got two big knots back here!”

(which reminds me. When I was a social worker I briefly considered becoming a mssage therapist so I could earn extra income on the weekends. But would I really have wanted to touch strangers, knowing that they are wearing little or nothing under that towel? If I am honest, HELL NO. I tried very hard not to be offensive in any way— showered, shaved, used deodorant—but I know that not everyone cares if they are offensive to the senses— and in fact, some people know and don’t care. There must be an entire class in massage therapy school dedicated to Handling Yucky People With Tact.)

So I was massaged and facialed and my fingernails were Connecticut Cranberried, and I briefly considered asking them if they had time to do makeup for me, but my manicurist was wearing scary purple eyeshadow and I was afraid that she might also be the makeup artist and would make me wear scary purple eyeshadow too, so I said nothing.

I really needed a new pair of black heels, since most of mine are too summery for December and the ones I wear to work are… dare I say it? A bit too librarian. I wanted something sexy but comfortable. I tried to look for some during the Black Friday shopping torture trip, but have you ever seen the shoe stores on Black Friday? Utter chaos. I took one look at the Lord & Taylor shoe department and fled in terror. After that I could not bring myself to shoe shop again and the librarian heels won by default.

We went to dinner on top of the Kennedy Center, which was lovely, and then headed to the show. The Nutcracker was fantastic, even better than last time. I actually cried when the dancers came out to take their final bow. Oh, how I wish I could dance like that.

We had very nice seats right by the stage, where we were surrounded by interesting characters. To my right there were two men who appeared to be a couple. One clapped very ethusiastically at the end of each solo and kept whispering “Fantastic!”, while the other one sat and stared at the stage, wearing a surly expression on his face and periodically whispered “Shh!” to the other man. I noticed that the enthusiastic man kept glancing over at me, especially my fingernails. I thought about waggling my fingers at him and chirping, “It’s Connecticut Cranberry!”, but then I thought maybe he was really looking at my librarian heels and wondering why I don’t have better fashion sense.

Moments before they dimmed the lights, a very regal-looking woman swooped in with her handsome husband and two perfect children, wearing an emerald gown and a big fur cape. As she moved towards her seat she coolly appraised those around her and, apparently finding nothing worthy of her attention, allowed her husband to remove her cape so she could sit down. Her son and daughter giggled at something and the boy snorted a little as he laughed. I heard the woman say, “I did not teach you that.” Her husband just sat there, probably trying to figure out how the hell he was going to escape the hundreds of dead minks that were piled on top of him. And also, perhaps, his bitchy wife.

The four seats to our left were empty for the first half of the show. At intermission a woman came in with three little girls and carrying a baby. There was a collective grumble all around when the baby was spotted. Fur Cape Ice Queen communicated with a single arch of her eyebrow her intention to instantaneously execute any unruly babies. Everyone stopped grumbling and shrank down in their seats in fear.

But the baby? Didn’t cry. Not once. She stood on her mother’s lap and stared raptly at the dancers on the stage. Once she giggled with delight during the Waltz of the Flowers and I would be shocked if the Queen’s icy heart didn’t melt just a little bit.

After the performance we went for drinks and I had an espresso martini. If you enjoy cocktails but drinking makes you too sleepy, an espresso martini might be the drink for you. I haven’t slept since last Friday!

Please Santa, send me some fabulous shoes. Because the librarian heels? Look even worse when I’m sleep deprived.


Blogger Lisa said...

So, seriously, does M have any single brothers who are exactly like him? 'Cause that's what I want Santa to put under my tree.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

M does have a brother. He's a very nice guy and a doctor!

Unfortunately, he's also married, and in Baghdad right now. But I'll let you know if he becomes available. ;-)

12:10 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hehe, nothing like blog matchmaking. I'm sure the enthusiastic man was just admiring your nail polish ;)

I love the Nutcracker, and wish I was a ballerina also ;)

1:34 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

What does the "extracted" refer to?

4:56 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bearette- it's a process by which they supposedly remove impurities from the skin. I don't completely buy into all that, but it feels nice when you're done. ;-)

9:39 AM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Sounds like a nice time was had. What a fun time at the ballet! I always find it entertaining when people who are parents shun other people for not parenting the way THEY would. And kuddos to the mom who had the joyous baby who loves the ballet. Maybe she was thinking that she might be the one up on the stage some day. And M sounds like a great, nice dinner, nutcracker. Can't get much better than that can it?


9:10 PM  
Blogger Sarcomical said...

oh my. that sounds like an utterly fabulous christmas gift. and what's up with that baby? i've never been around a baby that doesn't erupt into SOME tantrum after being in public that long. lucky mom, eh? ;)

12:01 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Roxanne & sarcomical-- the baby was so amazingly good that I thought about kidnapping her, but I didn't think I'd be able to run very fast in my librarian heels.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Frema said...

What a fun night out! I've gotta get me to a spa, or at least a hair salon, because my roots look like crap.

9:53 PM  

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