Wednesday, December 07, 2005

What's black and white and yellow all over?

This entry contains poo talk. If you're eating right now, you might want to come back later.

My husband and I were walking Alex the other day. The air was cold and crisp. Alex ran up a fairly steep, grassy hill and started sniffing around. Giving a snort, he was suddenly intent on one particular spot. I saw that he was pressing his nose to the ground, head tilting slightly to the right, in a fashion that can only mean one thing:

He'd found something stinky to roll in.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" M yelled, but I stopped him.

"Oh, let him roll," I said. "Let him have his fun."

Alex ground his head into the grass and flipped his body upside down, his furry black and white body wriggling from head to toe with the pleasure of a good roll. M and I laughed.

Suddenly Alex jumped to his feet and grinned at us.

M gasped.

I gagged.

Our dog had a huge streak of runny, bright yellow poo running from the top of his head down to his right haunch. It looked like war paint.

Alex seemed pleased. M and I were speechless.

Seeming disappointed that he hadn't won any praise for his trick, Alex went in for a second roll. He had just gotten his furry body flipped over again when I came out of my stupor and pulled on the leash. Alex came tumbling harmlessly down the grassy hill, a ball of wriggling dog bum and furry black legs, flashes of white chest and toes, and, of course, bright yellow poo.

When he was once again upright, Alex came and sat obediently at my feet like a little angel.

A little poo-covered angel who stank all the way to God's holy heaven.

He strutted all the way home. He clearly thought he was the Mighty Poo Warrior of the East. Maybe even the World.

M and I followed behind, trying not to be sick when the wind blew towards us.

"You so have bath duty," I told M. He looked grim.

"Do you think this is worse than when he rolled in the axle grease?"

"Absolutely not. I had to wash him four times to get all that grease out of his fur. At least poo is water soluble. "

"Oh, God."

We were quiet for a minute.

"Guess we're not ready to have a kid."

"Guess not."


Blogger Lisa said...

That's fantastic!

That's the one thing Rowen hasn't done with poo. Yet. She's eaten it. She sniffs it and sometimes gets too close and gets a dob of poo on her nose. She's had a major accident in the apartment.

But so far, no rolling in the poo.

Did you take any pictures?

3:23 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

LOL. If I meet Alex someday, I'll pat him before his walk ;)

4:40 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Lisa-- in the rush to get him in the tub, we didn't take pictures. He's rolled in unidentified stink before, but this was the first poo encounter. And the last, I hope.

Bearette- good idea. ;-)

1:26 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

The pictures might have been grotesque anyway ;)

2:16 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...


What I find so funny is that he was so PROUD of what he did!

5:57 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

I like how you use the word "poo." :)

1:02 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

"Poo" seems nicer for a blog than the profanity that crossed our lips that day...

12:53 PM  

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