Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Laundry Room Raider

Not able to sleep again tonight. M and I talked in the dark for an hour, and then I decided to be kind and go downstairs. Actually, I went all the way downstairs to the laundry room, got out the ironing board and a pile of wrinkled work shirts, and set out to be a model of insomnia-induced productivity. I hate ironing, especially since we have a really cheap iron that doesn't work too well, but there's something soothing about the smell of lemon-scented starch in the wee hours of the morning.

As I ironed I was mildly ashamed to find myself watching Room Raiders on MTV. It was the Texas edition, y'all! Have you seen this show? Three young people (late teens to early twenties) of the same sex are "kidnapped" and thrown into the back of a van. While they watch the action remotely, a member of the opposite sex goes into all three bedrooms and chooses someone for a date based on what he/she finds in the room. It's full of "Oh my God, dude!" and sexual innuendo.

Hot Texan Room-Raiding Woman: Oh, I see you have a surfboard. It's long.

Dude: Hell yeah, it's long! (looks at other two guys) Oh my God, dude! Get it? I'm talking about my GENITALS! (all three guys high-five)

Hot Texan Room-Raiding Woman: Well, I don't know how to surf, but maybe you can teach me one day. (bats eyelashes)

Dude: Hell yeah, I'll teach you! (looks at other two guys) Get it? I'm talking about SEX! (all three guys thump their chests and howl at the moon)

Inevitably, a box of condoms or an underwear drawer is discovered and revealed to the camera. Sometimes something really embarrassing is unearthed, like a high school band uniform, or a love poem written in sixth grade.

Please be my love
You were sent from above
And when I say "above", I mean HEAVEN
Let's meet at the 7-11

(wait, are those actually lyrics to a NKOTB song?)

Anyhow, Alex kept coming down to check on me, as he is disturbed by any interruption in the household routines. After I loved him up and reassured him, he went to the kitchen and stared up at the treat cabinet. I agreed to give him a Snausage if he let me take some pictures first.

Again with the camera? Okay, I know enough not to fight it.
Just sit. Stay. Wait it out. She'll go back to ironing eventually.

This is Frog. Frog would love to see you, except that
his eyes have been ripped off.

Yup-- first the eyes, then the rear end. There's a
method to my madness.

M bought him a new toy last week. It's a dog wearing a purple leisure suit and sunglasses that says, "Fugeddaboutit!" when squeezed. We named it Uncle Vito. Alex promptly broke its kneecaps.


Blogger Bearette24 said...

i have a confession to make. i have a picture of alex on my computer.

there, i feel better now.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

That's ok. You're his NYC mom, right? ;)

12:14 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

And also, I have about 300 mozillion pictures on my computer. You are showing much more restraint than I.

12:18 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Rowen sends greetings to Alex (even if Rowen's mom is jealous that Bearette loves Alex more ;-)).

I would die a thousand deaths if anyone---a potential date or otherwise---saw my room in it's current condition. Of course, I would never date anyone who would go through my stuff without my knowledge and consent and prior warnings so I could hide things. (And I know that I'm a hypocrite---don't leave me unattended in your home!)

1:42 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

oh no!! that was like a stab to the heart. i love rowen, too!!!!!


2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a cute little puppy, with those big eyes!

5:29 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

yay! Starry Night PJ's!!!

5:50 PM  
Blogger His suzy said...

I'll have to try ironing the next time I can't sleep. lol

11:49 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

That's right, Bdogg! I should have gotten more of my arm in the shot. ;-)

Suzy, ironing is surprisingly relaxing. That is, if you're not frantically trying to iron something you have to wear to work in 5 minutes...

4:15 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

i haven't ironed in a few years. it's not in my charter ;)

i like hanging dresses and such, if they get wrinkly, from the shower rod and turning on the water full force. it steams the wrinkles out. yay!

8:34 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Usually I take care of my ironing and M does his own. But since I was up all night, I threw a couple of his shirts on my pile. I felt very virtuous. ;)

After an ironing frenzy like that it is such a joy to pick out an outfit for work. So much to choose from! It boggles the mind!

9:03 AM  

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