Monday, April 24, 2006

Why I'm now afraid to sniff and wipe my nose in front of my mother-in-law

So over Easter weekend M and I took Alex and drove to my mother-in-law's house for a family dinner. After a delicious meal we debated about which board game to play. I crossed my fingers under the table and prayed feverishly that it would not be Monopoly, which I hate with the burning heat of a thousand suns. My other prayer was that it wouldn't be Trivial Pursuit, because my MIL's fiance is quite literally a genius and I feel stupid when I play trivia games with him because he knows everything.

(Do you think I'm joking when I say he's a genius? Because no. Before dinner he was working on solving a mathematical problem, for "fun", and when he showed me his 3-page solution I could only scoff and say, "Robert, come on. Couldn't you come up with anything better than that?")

So when Pictionary was chosen I leapt out of my chair and screamed, "YOU'RE GOING DOWN, SUCKAS!" because I'm usually very good at Pictionary, and while Robert can make a cotton gin out of a paper clip, he is not good at drawing.

One of my drawings turned out to be quite scadalous and controversial. As you look at this series of pictures, see if you can guess what my word was. Clue: it was an action.

All the smart people should have guessed it by now.


The plot thickens...

First point of contention: was I allowed to use a symbol?

Hey- who's that?

By now even the not-so-bright should have it.

So do you?

If not, don't feel bad. Among the six fairly intelligent people and one genius who were playing, not ONE person guessed it. Much to my exasperation.

"SNORT!" I yelled. "CLEARLY this man is SNORTING cocaine!"

Dumbfounded silence.

"There are the lines on a mirror! And it's being snorted
up into the dollar bill..."

"...and into this man's nostrils. SNORT!"

To their credit, Robert and my husband laughed. Everyone else kind of giggled uncomfortably as though they thought I might have a gram hidden in my purse.

Maybe they would've gotten it had I drawn the dollar bill sitcking out of the man's nostril, but to be honest I felt a little squicky about drawing things coming out of people's noses.

So apparently pictures of cocaine are not appropriate for Easter Sunday. Tell me, then: how would you have drawn SNORT?


Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hehe...I was thinking, squiggly rectangle, dollar bill. I think that's a tough one b/c the lines are black (by necessity)...if the lines could be white, I think they would have gotten it ;) Remember that song "White Lines"? And no, I don't have a gram in my purse either ;)

2:56 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

those math people are scary, aren't they? d's plural for genius is "genii" ;) apparently woody allen's biological son is a genius; he went to yale law school at 18 or something like that.

3:07 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

Oh, man, that's funny.

And I think I hate Monopoly as much as you. I'm so glad I'm not alone!

6:29 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

my friend kerri and i used to get mad at each other when we played monopoly as kids. "take another hotel, WHY DON'T YOU?" one of us would yell at the other, who was winning.

7:40 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Believe me, guys, you TOTALLY would have gotten it right away if you had been there. I am confident.

The last time I played Monopoly must have been in middle school. My brother and sister and I never played the right way. We'd fight over who got to be the dog and set up condo developments with the little hotels. I think I just don't have the attention span required for what can be a very long game.

Now Clue- that's a game I can sink my teeth into! To this DAY I long for a secret passage from the kitchen to the study.

If I had a study.

8:09 PM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

I must be some kind of deviant as I guessed it when I saw the $ bill...actually I blame it on the edgy movies I've been exposed to ;D

You couldn't have been playing with genii - as your drawings were excellent!

I'll be off to the study now with my candlestick...

11:45 PM  
Blogger Elsa said...

Very funny. At first I thought the action was "writing". Then I saw what looked like a diploma and emphasized by a $ sign which I just thought someone graduating from a top school. Maybe I'm not a good guesser - although by the end, I knew the guy was sniffing a diploma! :-)

11:59 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Thanks, V. ;)

Elsa-- Diploma sniffing, huh? LOL! Maybe the action could have been "Paying through the nose for a college education."

That would be about right!

8:48 AM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

I LOVE pictionary! When hubby and I play, we kick butt. Although I must admit I didn't guess your 'snort'. It must be cause I had to be there, right?


9:32 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hehe, VK...nice use of "genii" ;)

10:32 AM  
Blogger Elsa said...

I like that - paying through the nose for a college education!! You'll have to keep that sketch in your mind if you ever get into the advanced Pictionary!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Ok really, I had no idea what the hell that was. But when you said what it was I got it and was amused. I am also not a genius, in case you were wondering.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I thought it was a paper with writing on it. Then I saw the dollar signs and thought it mean somebody was writing their will.

If you think about it, maybe you should write your will, before you go snorting. :)

9:59 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

I meant "meant" not "mean."

Long day!

9:59 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

I have no idea how to draw "snort," but this entry made me snort a little. Maybe in the future you could draw a picture of you at the computer writing this post?

11:08 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Vernicious, you win! We must share the same devious mind. ;)

A public service announcement inspired by Carolyn: it's never too late to get a will.

And a public service announcement inspired by Elsa: it's never too soon to start saving for college.

1:19 PM  
Blogger New Mezger said...

I seriously thought it was "blow" - as in a blow of cocaine (that is the way they say it, right?) Good drawring.

Pictionary is really fun on the blogs. You should do it lots more.

12:12 AM  

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