Now you'll understand why I love Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion
Eff off, halitosis. Trust me, you don't want to play in my mouth.
No, the shameful secret I'm exposing today is my obsession with Post-It Notes. Help. Please. It looks like Rainbow Brite vomited all over my desk.
I started using Post-Its as a way to look cool and fit in at work, but it quickly devleoped into a pack-a-week habit. First I tried the 3x3 square ones, because everyone said they weren't really serious Post-Its. But wouldn't you know it? Everything they said in the D.A.R.E program was true! The standard yellow squares were just the "gateway" Post-Its that led me straight to hell.
My so-called "friends" only made things worse, introducing me to new ways to abuse Post-Its:
It's like a dealer is living right on my desk!
Jumbo-size is for experienced users only.
Do not try this at home.
And my husband? He's the worst one of all. A total enabler. He bought this for me, and brought it into our home:
The highlighter/Post-It combo pen. MY TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD IN ONE HANDY TOOL.
(holds paper bag over face and breathes rapidly)
Is this what he meant when he promised to love me in sickness?