Monday, July 31, 2006

Blunkety Blunk-Blunk! And also, what the Frack?

Hiiiiyyyeeee. I am blunking tonight. It's been a hard week, and yes, I know it's only Monday. Please don't tell me again.

Anyone want to join me and Jimi? We are drinking a lovely Rockbridge chardonnay, which was fermented in stainless steel, not oak. I hate oaky chardonnay. You know what else I hate?

Stay tuned.

Jimi says: Blunk out, man! And also-- PEACE OUT.
My husband says: These are not dolls. They are FIGURINES.

On Sunday I opened my newly-purchased FRACK mirror from IKEA. This is supposed to be one of those wall-mounted mirror things that has a regular mirror on one side and a super-magnified version on the other side.

You know, for when you want to scare yourself with an up-close view of the jagged landscape that is your face.

Ack! You mean I have pores? And freckles? And little white scars where I've had pre-cancerous skin removed?

Et tu, skin? This is totally uncalled for.

I remember very clearly that the FRACK mirror in the store was mounted to the wall with screws. But guess what was in the package?

No screws. Et tu, IKEA?

Behold, the cryptic instructions for installation:

Um, yes. Anyhow, I fought the FRACK and I won.

By the way, M just now came into the office and exclaimed, what are you doing publishing pictures of my Jimi Hendrix doll?

THANK you very much.

And now for the previously mentioned hate.

I love you Burt, you and your bees and your oddly-bearded face. So why did you betray me this way?

Burt's Bees Honey lip balm is the worst. It is dry and bumpy, not unlike sandpaper. And there is no refreshing, pepperminty whoosh like with regular Burt's.

You have been warned.

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Blogger Bearette24 said...

Jimi made me laugh ;)

11:11 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

You're a very funny blunker!

11:44 PM  
Blogger His suzy said...

I tried the honey kind too and HATED it! It's like the honey got all dried out or congealed or something on the way to the store, like regular honey can do sometimes.

Blunk on, mother fracker!! :P

10:41 AM  
Blogger Liz said...


11:21 AM  
Blogger Elsa said...

I agree with you...Jimi is a doll.

A couple of years ago, I got one of those magnified mirrors and let me tell you, it was NOT a pretty sight. Pretty depressing! And I didn't see any pores on my face. I saw craters!

9:52 PM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

Liz, I'm beginning to think you have a serious blunking problem and that we are gonna have to stage an intervention..

Not...blunk on :D

My favourite lip balm is "Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream Lip Protectant Stick SPF 15". It costs a bit...but I'm worth it!
I don't think the "Bees" have made it to Japan yet?!

10:17 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Where are you?? We must have some vino together?? Or maybe I'm just ultra into meeting every blogger on the face of the earth after last weekend. But really, you, me and some wine would be just awesome.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Rude Cactus said...

You and Jimi cracked my ass up. Oh, and the Ikea guys? I blogged about them a couple years ago. Ever notice they're naked? What's up with that?

12:34 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

That would rock, Heather. You bring the Shiraz. :)

8:30 PM  
Blogger Soleil said...

What's with the Frack not coming with any screws? I bought one three weeks ago, but I haven't been able to put it up yet because I keep forgetting to buy screws! Everything else from Ikea comes with screws! It's pretty fracking frustrating.

5:27 PM  

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