Blunkety Blunk-Blunk! And also, what the Frack?
Hiiiiyyyeeee. I am blunking tonight. It's been a hard week, and yes, I know it's only Monday. Please don't tell me again.
Anyone want to join me and Jimi? We are drinking a lovely Rockbridge chardonnay, which was fermented in stainless steel, not oak. I hate oaky chardonnay. You know what else I hate?
Jimi says: Blunk out, man! And also-- PEACE OUT.
My husband says: These are not dolls. They are FIGURINES.
On Sunday I opened my newly-purchased FRACK mirror from IKEA. This is supposed to be one of those wall-mounted mirror things that has a regular mirror on one side and a super-magnified version on the other side.
You know, for when you want to scare yourself with an up-close view of the jagged landscape that is your face.
Ack! You mean I have pores? And freckles? And little white scars where I've had pre-cancerous skin removed?
Et tu, skin? This is totally uncalled for.
I remember very clearly that the FRACK mirror in the store was mounted to the wall with screws. But guess what was in the package?
No screws. Et tu, IKEA?
Behold, the cryptic instructions for installation:
Um, yes. Anyhow, I fought the FRACK and I won.
By the way, M just now came into the office and exclaimed, what are you doing publishing pictures of my Jimi Hendrix doll?
THANK you very much.
And now for the previously mentioned hate.
I love you Burt, you and your bees and your oddly-bearded face. So why did you betray me this way?
Burt's Bees Honey lip balm is the worst. It is dry and bumpy, not unlike sandpaper. And there is no refreshing, pepperminty whoosh like with regular Burt's.
You have been warned.