Thursday, July 27, 2006

What I Did During My Summer Vacation (now with free links!)

Mom and Aunt Lori went home to Florida today, so now I can stop perspiring on the steps of monuments and go back to... whatever it is that I do.

Yesterday was another day of very sweaty tourist activity. First we hit Ford's Theater, where Lincoln was shot. I've been there so many times, both for sightseeing and for plays, that I brought a magazine to read while they looked around. Was that spoil-sporty of me? I felt as though I should walk around and look at all the displays, but I really didn't want to feign interest in something that is definitely interesting and important, but a little overcooked for me. It felt inevitable-- I had to bring reading material or I would've ended up at Tosca, drinking Chianti. Anyhow, that's always a dilemma. I want for guests to take all the time they want as they sightsee, but at the same time, I've already memorized every detail of Dorothy's ruby slippers . Would it make you feel... restricted or deflated if I sat and read quietly while you explored an exhibit?

(I am liking the italics tonight!)

(!!!!!!!!)

After Ford's Theater we went to the top of the tower at the Old Post Office Pavillion, where we met two delightful blond boys from Germany. Their nametags indicated that they were affiliated with some international religious organization, so as we descended I nervously pressed my face against the far side of the elevator lest I act like an ass (as I am wont to do when I sense impending evangelization).

Germans: Guten Tag! Have you ever been to our beautiful country?

Liz: I NEITHER AFFIRM NOR DENY THE EXISTENCE OF GOD.

Germans: What the bratwurst?

We ate lunch at the pavillion at the Ronald Reagan building, where I nearly tackled two besuited men in order to secure the last shady table. When they protested, I flashed my library card and muttered something about homeland security (it was really hot, did I mention that?).

Then we walked to the American History museum, where we immediately made an about-face because my aunt realized that she had thrown her newly-purchased souvenier hat in a trash can back at the Reagan building. She was too mortified to rummage through the bin, so I cheerfully volunteered. As I handed it to her I loudly exclaimed, "WHAT A FIND!"

I learned that it is possible for a person to nearly die of embarrassment. I didn't know she was so sensitive, okay?

Then we were off to the National Gallery of Art, where we saw great masterpieces by great masters. And then off to Capitol Hill, where we saw many serious people in wrinkled suits. That night we went to see Flip Orley at the Improv, where we saw many drunk people in wrinkled polo shirts. Some of them were hypnotized and drunk.

I never fail to find this very, very funny.

So tomorrow I go back to work. The thought of all the air conditioning and lack of memorials is somewhat overwhelming.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Carolyn said...

What a find! Mwahahahah.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Elsa said...

You're such a good host! And I would not feel restricted or deflated if you sat and read quietly while I explored an exhibit. It would make me feel better that you were occupying yourself while I took my time. I wouldn't feel so guilty.

I haven't been to DC since I was kid. Actually, I've been there for business a couple of times in recent years - but didn't have time to to any touristy things. It's definitely on my list of places to go.

4:19 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

You are a good hostess, especially considering the heat. It's cracking me up what you did with your aunt's hat. lol

10:40 AM  
Blogger Sarah Louise said...

Did the Germans actually say "What the bratwurst?" Even if not, I LOVE it!!

I always have reading material with me.

I'm pretty psyched the Portrait Gallery is fixed--next time I visit the 'rents, that's where I'll go!!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Carolyn- I thought so!

Elsa & Suzy- thanks :)

SL- no, he said that after I told him that I once sprinted the entire length of the Frankfurt airport with my belt and shoes in my hand.

1:16 PM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

I always, always, always have a book with me!

Thank goodness for air-con :D

1:24 PM  

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