Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I spent my weekend surrounded by drunk people.

Yes! Drunk people, everywhere! All weekend long! I could hardly believe it myself.

M’s band had a show on Friday night, so I met my friend at a coffee shop a couple hours early for some good ol’ female bonding. There’s nothing like getting into a good conversation with your same-sex friends, is there? I should have kept notes on all the different topics we covered, but to hit on the highlights: allergies, men, all the places within the FDR memorial where you could probably have sex without being discovered, men, and oh- you should HEAR the inappropriate things her gynecologist said to her last week. Outrageous!

There weren’t any drunk people at the coffee shop, as far as I could tell, just a lot of people getting buzzed on espresso. But we walked to the club where M’s band was playing and suddenly, BEHOLD THE DRUNKEN GLORY. Not me, though. I was high on life. And my soy latte.

In less-swanky clubs and bars, people don’t usually try to hide how drunk they are. WOOOOO! The more raucous, the less able to walk a straight line, the better! They put it on display for everyone to see because they are having SO MUCH FUN.

For contrast, I present the Virginia Wine Festival, which M and I attended on Saturday. The festival was held in a huge field in beautiful Leesburg, Virginia. Well, it used to be beautiful before they hacked down all the trees and planted all the fields with strip malls and miles of townhomes and mansions. I know this because my good college friend grew up on a real, live dairy farm in Leesburg and I had the good fortune to visit and live out my farm girl fantasies before they sold off the land.


Anyhow, I got a good, long look at Leesburg because we were stuck on Route 15 for TWO. BLESSED. HOURS. We made it to Leesburg in just under an hour, which led to an obnoxious display of self-congratulation.


I rather dislike Route 15.

Anyhow, we finally made it to the festival, and once again—drunk people, everywhere!

Except that unlike the drunk people at the club on Friday night, many of these people were drunk but were pretending that they weren’t. You know what I mean. The eyes are trying to focus, she’s nodding very deliberately at the winery representative as he explains how this Vidal Blanc is produced only in certain years when the conditions are perfect, and all the while she keeps stepping to the left because the floor (er, field) seems to be tilting. But NO, I’m not drunk! I have a Coach bag and matching sunglasses and cute red shoes, I’m not DRUNK you stupid whore.

Except that she totally is.

I was surprised by how many college-aged people were there, probably because in college I knew nothing about wine (except that I liked it, all of it!) and didn't have much of an inclination to study up. Some of them seemed like they were really trying to learn about wine, but others went from table to table, knocking back every taste in rapid succession. Some of them also puffed on cigars, which made me giggle a little—just the ones who tried to puff in a serious, vaguely menacing way, a la Tony Soprano. Really-- if your mom is still buying your socks, you just won’t look right with a cigar in your mouth. Take it from me, yo.

We had some nice, stinky cheese and lots of good wine, taking home only one bottle (alas, for the entertainment budget was rather depleted for the month) of delicious 2004 Viognier from Breaux. For the past two nights I’ve hinted subtly to M that I’d like to open it (“I’D REALLY, REALLY LOVE TO DRINK THAT VIOGNIER TONIGHT!”), but he insists that we should wait until we’ve prepared a dinner that will pair nicely with the flavor of the wine.

I know what pairs nicely with the flavor of the wine. My tongue!

It’s probably best to wait, as my sinuses have decided to attack my face and I can’t taste much of anything anyhow.

To: Sinuses
From: Liz
Re: Recent disruptive activity

Dear sinuses,

I have recently been informed that you've been behaving in a manner unbecoming of my face. My cheeks hurt, my jaw hurts, and there is only one specific position in which I can sleep that even slightly lessens the sensation that my eyeballs are about to pop out of my head.

I understand, sinuses. The pair of you are nothing but cavities. Being simply empty space, you feel unimportant compared to the heart, lungs, fingernails, and other body parts. So you felt the need to make your presence known, didn’t you? Hey, look at us! We can do something, too! We can be really super annoying!


I would like to threaten legal action, but the only lawyer I know is no longer practicing. Cut it out, or I will find a way to get you.

I’ve walked face-first into walls before, and I’ll do it again.



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Blogger Bearette24 said...

I'll come out of retirement for you ;) I actually knew a kid named Breaux in high school.

There's a wine store in NYC that tries very hard to get people to come in. They have quotes from Napoleon, etc. on this board on the sidewalk. No one goes in though. It's very sad :(

7:22 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Why do you think no one shops there? Too expensive?

I always feel sorry for independent shops that don't seem to have many customers...

7:39 PM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

Maybe your sinuses want some of the wine too?!

10:39 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

The Breaux is quite tasty. If you were wondering.

Did you know that I like wine? Because I'm not sure if I've ever made that apparent...

10:48 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

I'm not sure. It looks kind of daunting, like they expect you to be a wine connoisseur. Personally, if I'm going to buy booze (usually vodka for penne a la vodka), I just go to the unassuming place across the street ;)

11:03 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

VK- What's the best way to share with them? Snorting it? eeeeek. I'm in pain just thinking about that...

Heather- yes, I've heard rumors to that effect. ;) Have you tried any of Gray Ghost's wines? Mmm... Tell me what your favorite cab is.

Bearette- you should go to this cute little wine store near our house. They're very friendly and happy to share their knowledge. No vodka there, though. :)

9:19 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

I'll try to remember to avoid Route 15 in Leesburg, at least if there's a wine tasting field going on. :)

9:57 AM  
Blogger Frema said...

I'm 26 years old and still don't know a damn thing about wine except that I like RED.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Frema, sometimes that's really all you need to know...

1:36 PM  
Blogger popscholar said...

I love those girl convos! Always good stuff...

What kind of stuff does M's band play?

2:05 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Alternative rockish-type stuff. Is that specific enough? :)

4:04 PM  
Blogger popscholar said...

Yep -- sounds good. What fun to be able to go out and see him play. What venues do they gig at? (I spent some time in DC in college and so am familiar with the music scene a bit...).

6:11 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

They don't do shows very often anymore. Once a month, if that. Over the years the performance side of it has taken a back seat to marriage and kids. :)

7:25 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

Your tongue! heh heh heh

My tongue goes quite nicely with margaritas.

And the letter to your sinuses killed me.

You're on a roll.

10:40 PM  

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