Thursday, November 30, 2006

O Christmas Tree, Thy Leaves Are So Unchanging (and I mean this literally)

They will never, ever change. Because they are not real.

Since M and I are going to be home alone for Christmas for the first time ever, we decided we should upgrade our Christmas tree. Our old Christmas tree is a two-foot midget with bendable branches that M got as a parting gift when the florist where he worked as a delivery person went out of business.

At first we were all, Crap. Unemployment is bad.

And then we were all, Free tree! We're totally saving money!

Moments later we rejoiced again when we found a glass reindeer ornament hidden deep in the branches, because that's one more thing we don't have to buy!

I secretly hoped that one day we would get a full-sized real tree, because that's what my family always had when I was growing up. Heck, once we went out into our yard and chopped one down ourselves! And then we all stripped naked and howled at the moon because we felt so pioneer-like.

The neighbors loved that.

I've told myself annually that the reason we don't have a real tree is because we always travel and it would make no sense to buy one, only to have it wither and die while we jaunt off to Florida or Georgia or Texas or wherever the hell.

The real reason, besides all that, is that M is allergic.

So I kindly relinquished my dream of a real tree so that M could live his dream of not spending Christmas on a ventilator.

I am currently accepting nominations for Wife of the Year.

This long story is my way of announcing that we have a new fake tree, one that is 7.5 feet tall but only about 6 inches across, as we wanted something "versatile" and "not overwhelming" and that wouldn't obscure views of our many expensive antiques.


We also looked at tree skirts. Did you know that those things cost $45? I felt very grinchy when I said, "We have a green sheet at home. That will work."

So here you have it. It looks a little mangy, but maybe it will be more attractive once it's decorated. Alex is dubious.

I'm thinking of using this for our Christmas card this year:

May your fake tree be less scary than ours.


Blogger His suzy said...

I love the Christmas card! lol

11:55 AM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Fake trees are much cheaper in the long run...and no stinkin' needles to clog up the vacuum. We've been thinking of going that route, but I would miss that fresh pine smell every time you come in the door.

Love the card!

12:56 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

LOL--oh, Alex.....

I actually prefer fake trees....not as much trouble. Last year we got one of those pre-lit jobs on clearance at the after Christmas sale. Don't think we're going to put it up, though, as we're not going to be home much to enjoy it.

I usually burn pine-scented candles to give the illusion of a real tree, though. :)

Oh, and you know what else works for a tree skirt? Get a cheap-ish round tablecloth, cut a slit halfway up to the middle of the circle, and voila! $10 tree skirt! I have one in a snazzy gold brocade that our cats love to lie on underneath the tree...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

lol. i hope he's venturing into the kitchen again.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

My family always had a fake tree. In fact, I don't know anyone personally who gets a real one. I'd never even consider it. I rarely vaccuum as it is!

9:35 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

We used our fake tree until it fell apart.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Fake trees are IN! Hey, I'm trendier than I thought.

Rox & Frema- even our fake tree has been dropping (plastic?) needles. All the annoyances of a real tree without the great smell!

4:22 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bdogg- what a great suggestion. Thanks!

4:23 PM  
Anonymous debra said...

Found your blog via BlogHer and HeatherB's post. One click on a link and 1 1/2 hours of perusing your archives later, I'm hooked! Love your blog!

And Alex is so adorable I want to squeeze his shaking-scared little cuteness! :)

6:41 PM  
Blogger verniciousknids said...

We have a fibre optic tree...and the lights are so pretty!

6:10 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

ok, you are nominated for wife of the year in my book, because I'd be all, "Break out the benadryl, dude, the REAL tree is comin' in!" But aparently my real-tree-loving self is distinctly in the minority.

9:03 PM  

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