Friday, December 15, 2006

Are you an electrician, by chance?

I'm taking the day off. Partly because I have to work tomorrow, and also because I got some lovely Williams Sonoma and Ann Taylor gift cards for my birthday that are crying out for some attention, and there's no way that I'm going shopping on a Saturday in December.

(See, I told you my life was terrible!)

So everyone, pull up a chair while I kvetch about our annoying microwave. Every winter (and only in the winter) we have a little problem that usually unfolds like this:

1) Liz puts bowl of oatmeal in microwave, sets it for 2 minutes and presses START.

2) As soon as microwave starts up, the circuit breaker trips and microwave shuts down.

3) Liz goes downstairs to the fuse box, resets it, and climbs back upstairs.

4) Liz resets the clocks on the microwave and the gas stove.

5) Liz sets microwave for 2 minutes and presses START. Again.

6) Micowave shuts down. Again.

7) Oatmeal feels rejected. Starts to engage in attention-getting behaviors, like sex and drugs.

8) Liz feels frustrated. Is hungry. Starts to say bad words.

Used to be that this would only happen once or twice, and then things would run smoothly. Not anymore. I find myself talking soothingly to the microwave, begging it to run this time because while I'm not a picky eater I DON'T LIKE RAW, COLD OATMEAL and I don't want to walk up and down the stairs all day and I was supposed to leave for work ten minutes ago.

Lately I've been making oatmeal and hot beverages on the stovetop, which makes me feel very Laura Ingalls.

Liz: Charles, I'm almost done heating the breakfast.

M: Why are you wearing a bonnet?

Liz: When will this drought end? The heat! THE HEAT!

M: It's December.

Liz: A plague of grasshoppers would be preferable! At least we could eat grasshoppers!

M: Oh, wait. Are we playing Little House on the Prairie again?

I know. You're going to tell me that we need to hire an electrician before the house burns down, right?



Blogger Bearette24 said...

lol. i love #7. i also make oatmeal on the stovetop.

11:50 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

Since it only happens in the winter, it does sound like it's something in the house and not the microwave. Oo! Maybe that's why Alex is afraid of the kitchen!

12:33 PM  
Blogger Caffeinated Librarian said...

Hey, this sounds like what happens with my microwave (except for the completely not working bit...well, and the Laura Ingalls thing). I'll be interested to hear what you find out.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Caffeinated Librarian said...

Hey, this sounds like what happens with my microwave (except for the completely not working bit...well, and the Laura Ingalls thing). I'll be interested to hear what you find out.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

Actually, I was going to say get a new microwave until I read Suzy's comment!

2:37 PM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

You could always lug the microwave into another room and plug it in elsewhere.

Now that's roughing it, Laura. Hee hee.

3:34 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

Hey, at least you don't have to twist hay into sticks to heat the cookstove so you can bake your coarse brown bread! :)

God I'm a dork.....

4:15 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Dammit Carolyn, it's installed over the stove! Now I'll have to unscrew the entire contraption.

Talk about roughing it.

Suzy- you're right. There's something about the wiring.. or something. I sound really intelligent, huh? Can you tell that I majored in electicity in college?

caffeinated librarian- I'll definitely share if I find a solution!

bdogg- I am prepared to burn the furniture if I have to. Or eat grass. Or walk 50 miles to town for provisions...

4:43 PM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

You know, Royal and Almanzo might have some wheat hidden in the false wall, so you might not have to walk that far....

Please stop me!!

6:08 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

In short, yes.

Or eat instant oatmeal.

In which we will use the last little bit of our white sugar, and Pa will have to trek through a snowstorm for more, and for oranges for the Christmas stockings.

11:31 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I just hope we don't have to resort to slaughtering Ellen, the cow.

Of course, if her head is frozen to the ground she might prefer death.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Slaughtering cows? I'm guessing that it's to feed your meat loving dog. ;)

I think we all need to buy the DVD set for a Christmas gift to ourselves. Man, I miss those reruns after school. I always loved having my hair in piggy tail braids (and that's secretly why I like to braid Jesse's hair).

I hated Nelly. That evil witch! Maybe she's the one that's screwing with your microwave.

1:32 AM  

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