Wednesday, March 07, 2007

If you're missing something important, you should probably check my pockets

Hi. Guess what? I did another stupid thing at work!

I was at an off-site training yesterday. As the instructor talked, I sneakily checked my work email.

As my inbox pops up I see a long line of urgent emails trailing down the screen. I know they are Urgent because each of them has a ! in front of it. I’ve never seen so many ! emails in my life!

Hm. The reason for all the !!! is that an Object of Extreme Importance (OEI) has gone missing in the library. The OEI is so important and its unexplained absence so alarming that a police report will be filed if it is not located within a couple of hours. Also, the library will be held financially responsible, which is really worrisome because the OEI is apparently worth a lot of money.

(No, I’m not going to tell you what the OEI is, but you can have fun guessing)

As I read the emails I feel a twinge of nausea.

! Attention! OEI is missing! MISSING!

Next comes a dull pain in my right temple.


And finally:

! We have narrowed the window of possible theft to between 2:00 and 4:00 yesterday.

Huh. That's funny. The only person in the library between 2:00 and 4:00 yesterday was... ME.

(I am the rat! I AM THE RAT!)

And now that I think about it, I distinctly remember handling the OEI several times. I do not, however, remember putting it back.
I start shooting off quick, furtive emails when the workshop instructor isn’t looking. I can type amazingly well without looking at the keyboard.

Dear Boss,
I thnk I am the one whi lost the OEI. I am sorrt. You can tell eervyone that it was mee.

Dear Boss,
More specificslly, I think I lost the OEI in the pockrt of my brown pants. Unfonrtunaly, the brwon pants are at home.

Dear Boss/

Do you want me fo drive home right now to check? I would be happy to.

It was indeed in the back pocket of my brown pants, which were in the hamper, tangled up in dirty gym socks. That’s not a suitable place for an Object of Extreme Importance. Seriously.

The OEI was returned to it's proper location this morning, as soon as I arrived. I heard a rumor that they're going to attach it to a hubcap, kind of like a gas station bathroom key. I have no idea why they would do such a thing.

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Blogger Roxanne said...

I hope your pockets aren't big enough for a hubcap. That would be bad.

Now I want to know what the OEI is! (I bet you're not going to tell either)

6:39 PM  
Blogger His suzy said...

I bet it was that all-important date stamp that the librarians use in the back of the books you check out so you know when they're due. although I don't know why you'd put that in your pocket. lol

6:48 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Well, I did a regrettable thing at home...I dropped my computer from a height of 3-4 feet! Aargh. I'm glad the OEI was recovered :)

7:02 PM  
Blogger Iamthebookworm said...

I'm just guessing, but could the OEI be the copier key? I think everyone at my library has taken that home at least once!

10:06 PM  
Blogger Elsa said...

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO curious - what was this OEI???? I'm thinking it was something like the safe key where you keep the super-expensive, important, old documents.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Was it the key to the bathroom?

6:53 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

you guys LOCK your bathrooms?

11:01 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Alas, no one has guessed the OEI yet.

The world may never know.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Elsa said...

Please...pretty please...

I really am quite curious :)

12:45 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

It would be pretty bad to lose the department's AmEx card, right?

12:12 PM  
Blogger Elsa said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You are so right - it could be pretty bad.

I feel much better now that I know :)

12:35 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

how funny...once, when I was working in my undergrad school library, I gathered some research books during my shift and put them next to my backpack. when said shift was over, I promptly placed them in my backpack and headed out of the library (notice i am missing a step here). as soon as i headed out the door, multiple alarms started going off and i was asked to empty the contents of my bag. imagine the front desk clerks surprise when about 7 non-checked out books slid out, clearly implicating me in a library "theft." it was all straightened out once i explained that i too worked there and how could someone who valued the library so much actually steal from them, but it was not a fun experience!

1:31 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

hmm, could the OEI be a key that unlocks a rare documents file?

1:33 AM  

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