Monday, April 16, 2007

Gone with the Wine... er, Wind

We've been having a kick-ass wind storm here in the DC area. I could feel the entire house shuddering as I tried to fall asleep last night. As I drove home today I saw huge patches of shingles missing from roofs, while vinyl siding, tree branches, and other debris lay strewn about the road.

There is a six-foot length of gutter lying in my neighbor's yard. Our yard has so far collected a trash can, several wet, pulpy sections of the Washington Post, and a grill cover.

Needless to say, Alex is most unhappy about this latest meteorological surprise. Today I arrived home early from my latest allergist appointment to find him quaking under two pillows on the couch.

I coaxed him outside and tried not to blow away as I waited for him to poop. He grew more alarmed with each shingle, trash can, and shutter he encountered, as though he knew for sure that this must be the apocalypse and the only way to save himself was to clamp his tail over his bum and NEVER, EVER POOP AGAIN.

Mike called me on the way to band rehearsal to tell me that he checked the back of our house again on the way out and saw a section of shingles that seemed to be considering escape. Sweet! I was wondering how to get rid of a few hundred dollars this week. Providence, my dears. Now I won't have to waste time burning the bills with my lighter.

To combine the efforts of saving money and drowning my sorrows, I'm enjoying a glass of 2005 Honey Moon Viognier. I bought it on a whim at Trader Joe's, mostly because I liked the simple black label and because I'm a Viognier fan, with all it's perfumey deliciousness. Only $5.99, and really wonderful at that price. I went back today during lunch and bought a case. Unfortunately, I ran into a co-worker in the check-out line.

Her: Oh my goodness! Hi, Liz.

Me: Oh, Maria! Hi!

Maria: What IS all that?

(She's holding one container of salad in her hand. I, on the other hand, am out on lunch break with a cart full of wine bottles and not a single morsel of food.)

Me: Do you like Viognier? (I show her a bottle)

Maria: Wow, that's a lot of wine. Are you having a party?

Me: Oh! A party. Yes, we're having a party.

Maria: Is it any good?

Me: (gesturing to mound of bottles) Um, obviously?

Guy standing in line between us: Wow! What do you like about it?

Me: Well, you know, it's a nice, full-bodied white...

Guy: (seems to think I must be a wine expert) Really? I think I'll get one, too. Where did you get it?

Me: The wine aisle?

I am nothing if not specific.

Anyhow, I'd better get back to my budget spreadsheet. After we pay the roofer and my allergist, I'll see how much I have left over to give the vet for surgical removal of my dog's poop. He seems pretty determined to hang onto it forever.

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Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

That wine looks fabulous--I love the label, too!

I am going to have to see what I can do to get a bottle of it here in TX....

10:31 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

I don't think I'd want to be sticking my behind outside right now to do the deed. We've had lots and lots of branches falling from all our trees.

10:40 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

veqtwToo funny!! We have a Trader Joe's nearby too and my wife went through sort of the same conversation as you did!! Except it was '2 Buck Chuck' and the guy behind her just kinda snorted!! However, it's not a bad wine at all ...... for company!

Hope those winds subside. I hate the wind more than anything! I'll take rain, snow, heat. cold ..... It's just that you can't SEE wind and it's very sneaky! Until you see a small dog fly by

Take care!

12:00 AM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

Ignore that 'veqtw'. It was a secret code that I was psssing thru your blog! Bwaha!! Not really ... it was the Word Verification thing I typed in the wrong place!! Darn that 2 Buck Chuck!!

12:04 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Hee. I'm enjoying the image of a cart full of wine.

Did Alex turn in slow, agonizing circles as he had his tail clamped to his bum? ;)

12:32 AM  
Blogger LJ said...

Oh wow - that is a nice label. Did the product succeed at delivering?? =)

9:50 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

Poor Alex. I probably wouldn't know if I should feel bad for him or laugh. lol

12:16 PM  
Blogger avocadoinparadise said...

I got the impression that you're out in the dc suburbs. In one of those neighborhoods where all the houses are practically new?

I haven't seen any shingles or siding or gutters blowing off the old rowhouses in capiol hill, so maybe they built things better back then. I'm biased toward thinking that new construction stinks... Why do they have to replace things like schools every 20 years now when schools built 100 years ago are still in good shape?

3:11 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

If any of you try the Honey Moon, let me know what you think.

Serious- Take this message to your leader: dtzeuqpi.

Bearette- he was scurrying- no slow circles. :)

lj- I like it for an everyday wine. And the price can only be beaten by two buck chuck!

suzy- Eventually letting the poop out will feel better than holding it in. At least, I'm hoping.

avocado- the main street we live off of seems to create a wind tunnel effect. We've never had a problem in the four years we've lived here, but several houses get hit over and over again. We took a closer look this morning and the damage isn't as bad as we feared.

More wine!

4:31 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

have i told you lately how much you make me laugh? i feel as if i blather on about it every single post. but that's what YOU get when you are funny.

if i lived in a CIVILIZED state which allowed grocery stores to sell wine, I woulld go buy some toot-sweet. as it is i must wait for my next trek to a GD STATE STORE.

farewell and skhpti...

6:52 AM  
Blogger kj said...

alex, your mother needs to be more understanding. if she weren't at trader joe's lushing her way into the wine aisle, she could have found some cost effective therapy to help you "release" your pent up....oh forget it. alex, just do it!


8:17 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

You are always good for a laugh.

There's nothing wrong with stocking up at Trader Joes. They have discontinued TWO different things on me and I am mad at them.

Poor Alex.

10:12 PM  
Anonymous Bethydiane said...

Well, I may or may not be able to top your wind storm... How about a city fogged with smoke from a wild fire an hour away? What do you call Florida snow? Ashes.

10:31 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Babel- tell my husband I'm funny. He doesn't always think so.

kj- just give me a heads up if you're planning to report me to PPS(Puppy Protective Services). I have to hide my wine stash.

Caro- are you saying I should buy another case of the Viognier?

Bethy- you win. At least we can breathe the air here... it's just extremely active!

2:46 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Liz - Yes you should. They discotinued the So Delicious soy ice cream here and the plain almond milk.

I was pissed.

9:15 PM  

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