Monday, April 30, 2007

It's for you. It's Mr. Thon.

Last night Mike and I were finishing dinner (squash and corn enchiladas, for anyone who wants to take them for a spin) when the phone rang. Since we were hot and heavy into The Amazing Race, Mike glanced at the caller ID.

"Huh," he said. "Do you know anyone named Thon Phona?"

"Thon?" I repeated. "No, I don't think so."

"Me either. I'm not going to answer it."

"Can I see it?"

He passed me the phone, and that's when I very nearly died laughing.

"What?" Mike asked, mystified, as my body shook and and I struggled to push the words out.

"It's not... Thon... Phona!" I gasped, tears leaking from my eyes. "It says Phona Thon! IT'S A PHONATHON!"

"A telemarketer?" Mike asked. I held the phone out.

"It's for you!" I choked out. "It's... MR. THON!"

"Caller ID usually reverses the first and last names!" Mike huffed. "How was I suppsed to know?"

And I just couldn't help it. I collapsed on the floor, laughing myself silly.

I'm such a tool sometimes.


Yesterday I was happy as a pig in a poke because it was finally warm enough to plant annuals. I've already started my herbs, beans, bell peppers, and tomatoes from seed, but buying the annuals and seeing the brightly-colored blooms makes my dizzy with delight. I could spend hours and hours in a nursery, plotting and planning and burying my face in the basil plants.

(Sometimes I think I should have been a horticulturist. Seeing dirt under my fingernails doesn't gross me out; it makes me happy.)

But before the flower-buying extravaganza could take place, there was an errand. It was a fun one, though: Mike and I headed to Dick's to buy new hiking shoes. Then we stopped at a massive Whole Foods for lunch. Do any of you have these jumbo-sized Whole Foods that have almost every kind of prepared food imaginable, complete with wine bar and cafe? We ended up agreeing on three slices of pizza (Caprese, vegetable, and mushroom & shallot), and I managed to sneak a thick wedge of cake with very creamy frosting onto the counter.

Not exactly the lunch of champions, but very satisfying all the same. We just bought new and improved hiking shoes, for God's sake. Of course we'll make up for it.

Then it was onto the nursery, where I happily skipped among the flowers as Mike trailed after me, dutifully pulling the wagon.

All day I was wearing this shirt. I love wearing it because it makes me laugh, and often I hear snorts and chuckles from passers-by, or an occasional exclamation of "I love that shirt!". And really, nothing makes me feel better than making someone laugh.

I do, however, have to remind myself that when you wear a shirt with words plastered across the chest region, you have to expect and accept that people will be staring at your rack.

Sometimes I forget and get all feministically perturbed.

By the way, Augusten Burrough's Possible Side Effects is making me laugh as hard as the phone call from Thon Phona. Listen to it on CD (Augusten reads it himself). If you don't bust a gut, we simply cannot be friends anymore.

I can't remember ever laughing so hard in rush hour traffic.



Blogger Iamthebookworm said...

Love the shirt!

9:17 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I have the same poor regard for people who dislike Augusten Burroughs as I do for those who make left hand turns during rush hour.

If Augusten weren't gay...that's all I'm saying.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

bookworm- thanks!

Heather- you are definitely my mind twin! I have thought at least a few dozen times that it is SUCH A SHAME. If only he wanted to make me laugh and have sex.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

My goodness! I guess I will have to read him.

10:39 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

Thon Phona?? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, and loved the shirt!! Another HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I may have to buy that CD, if only so that we remain friends ;) I've read the reviews and it sounds GREAT!! May have to read/hear his first one, ummm, first!! (If I don't can we still be friends???)

Haven't gardened in a few years now. I have 40+ bonsai that I am tending so my 'outdoor' time is pretty much accounted for, but I used to grow veggies every year!! I kinda miss it!! Instant gratification compared to bonsai! lol!

On my other blog,, I have pics of a few of them posted.

Lastly, you DOOOO make me laugh!!

have a nice week

12:32 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

That shirt rocks!

I remember being a church camp one summer when I was probably 13 or 14. I was sitting at lunch one day and one of the college-aged male counselors was sitting at the end of the table next to me, when I noticed that he was starting very intently at my chest area. At first I was like, "Could he be any more obvious? At CHURCH CAMP??" Then I remembered I was wearing a T-shirt with some sort of poem thing down the front. My bad.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bearette- listen to it on CD if you can... his voice makes it all the funnier.

Serious-- borrow it for free from your local library! (this has been a public service announcement from your friendly librarian)

Suz- I've heard that there are lots of perverts at church camps. Better remain on the defensive. ;)

1:58 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Serious- also, he's written several books, but you don't have to read them first. This one is a collection of autobiographical stories.... you could start right in the middle and not be lost!

2:03 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

That's a great shirt.

Those enchiladas sound yummy.

I've never heard of Augusten Burroughs. May I still be your friend?

3:31 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

Then I plan on it. Thanks!

9:09 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

LOVE that shirt!

9:13 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home