Look at my StoveTop!
I shan't disappoint you.
Today I was driving home after a busy and productive day at work. It wasn't a good hair day, but you can't win 'em all, you know?
Anyhow, I'm approaching an intersection with a green light when suddenly a car coming from the opposite direction tries to make a left-hand turn across three lanes, nearly causing the Lexus in front of me to broadside him. Lexus slams on his brakes and honks, I slam on my brakes, and the offending driver (let's just call him Idiot) slams on his brakes.
Here's a graphic, in case you're having trouble picturing it:
Lexus proceeds. I proceed. As soon as Lexus goes by, Idiot tries to make his surprise left turn again and I nearly broadside him.
I simultaneously slam on my brakes and honk. Idiot slams on his brakes.
Then he turns in front of me again. And yes, you guessed it, I almost hit him. Again.
The cherry on this traffic sundae was when he flipped me the bird.
I laughed. I had to laugh, you know? But this kind of shit really wears you down after a while. I always feel like Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes. I'm thinking of the scene at the grocery store where the punky teenage boy bumps into her and Bates politely says, "Oh! Excuse me!" and the kid snarls, "Screw you!" and Kathy runs after him into the parking lot and cries, "Why are you being so mean to me? I don't understand!" and then her wet paper grocery bag breaks and the StoveTop Stuffing box falls into a puddle and she can do is sob, "Look at my StoveTop!"
Then I fantasized about moving to Florida.
In other news, here's what I cooked this weekend: vegetarian lasagna, stuffed bell peppers, and Mediterranean Succotash. Yes, all for one meal, and no, we weren't having company for dinner. It's an illness, folks. I CAN'T STOP. Please come rescue us before we are eligible to float down the street in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Non-vegetarians who eat this lasagna are usually surprised by how good a meatless lasagna can be and frequently ask for the recipe. Unfortunately, it's all in my head, and the recipe is a little different each time. This version featured zucchini, spinach, portobello mushrooms, Roma tomatoes, garlic, onion, carrots, soy crumbles, and fat-free cottage cheese in place of ricotta.
By the time our paltry little family of two makes it through this huge pan of lasagna, I doubt we'll be craving it again any time soon. But if anyone is interested, I'll try to note the method and ingredients (and perhaps take some pictures) next time around. Not like it's that hard... I mean, lasagna is almost impossible to mess up. But if you want it, I'm willing.
I live to serve. Just don't flip me the bird unless I deserve it, okay?