Thursday, September 27, 2007

A Story and a Hint in Run-On Sentence Form


Don't you love it when you enter a long hallway at work, and a quick glance reveals that no one else is in the hallway, so you take the opportunity to adjust the underwire bra that's been driving you crazy- a maneuver that can only be accomplished with some full-on self-groping- and then you realize that you've been walking straight towards the security camera the entire time?

Hope you enjoyed the show, boys.


Let's say, hypothetically, that you are visiting the library. Let's say, hypothetically, that there is only one librarian on duty, and she is sitting at the end of the very long reference desk. If you position yourself quiet-like-a-mouse at the opposite end of the very long desk, so that the librarian's back is to you, this can be problematic from a "getting help" standpoint.

You may want to:

1) Walk toward the librarian so as to enter her field of vision

2) Clear your throat so as to attract attention

3) Politely call, "Excuse me!" or, "Hello!"

4) Make use of the bell provided on the counter. When activated, the bell makes a pleasant ping! sound that is specially designed to indicate, "Hi! I need some assistance, please!"

If you choose not to employ any of these strategies or otherwise speak up, please do not be offended if the librarian DOESN'T NOTICE YOU.



Blogger His suzy said...

I've adjusted my bra any number of times when I was alone, so I'm sure I've given someone a show at some point! I can only assume that any number of women do that sort of thing and so it may not be as much of a wild show as we think. lol

12:08 PM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

what you mean you don't have standard-librarian-issue eyes in the back of your head? Sheesh. What library school did YOU go to? : )

I do bra-adjusting and the like in the elevator.

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Betsy said...

I thought all librarians were so super-sonically attuned to any small noise that they would immediately know if someone was in the immediate vicinity.
Guess I was mistaken.

4:32 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

Or I suppose you could just yell, 'Hey Library Bitch!! A little help here??' 'Don't make me slap your Dewey Decimal butt!!

Or not......

2:26 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

'Library bitch' might result in a Merriam-Webster dictionary being lobbed at your head.

I'm talking hard-back. ;)

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Wilson said...

Funny...every library I go to gives their librarians such small desks that even if you stroll near it they automatically think you're coming up to them for help.
Which can be embarrassing if you're just going by it to quickly get to the bathroom.

11:53 AM  
Blogger bdogg_mcgee said...

I refuse to let your tales of horror sway me from my ultimate goal: To do what you do for a living. :)

(I'm looking into a program here...)

11:35 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

LMAO!! Sooo sorry!! Don't want the hard copy being thrown!! OUCH!

3:49 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I like to just adjust my bra in the elevator or in the lobby so that multiple people including those watching the security cameras can get a good view. Kill two birds with one stone, I say.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

I hate ringing the bell. It feels so rude.

That said, I wouldn't get offended if you didn't notice me.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Wilson- I try to make eye contact with everyone who passes by, but I won't pounce on you. :) Sometimes people are feeling me out, trying to determine whether they can approach me or not, whether I'm friendly or not. If I don't make eye contact, many will guess no.

Bdogg- awesome! and don't forget- we have a book club to start up. Today's temp will reach a high of 80 degrees and that can only mean that The Long Winter is lurking around the corner...

10:02 AM  

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