Tuesday, October 02, 2007

A brave admission

I must have lost a little weight recently, as my pants are suddenly sagging in a most unbecoming fashion. Donning a belt is the obvious solution, but my choice of an untuckable shirt made that impossible.

An untuckable shirt is a shirt that is cannot be tucked into the pants for any of the following reasons:

1) it's too short, which means that the shirt becomes untucked in places as I sit and stand and go about my normal work day. This requires constant retucking, and frankly, constant retucking drives me batshit insane.

2) it's too bunchy, which means unflattering...uh...bunchiness at the waistline. Not only does it not look very good, but it makes me feel like the Sta-Puft marshmallow man.

3) it's just not mean to be tucked in. Period. Why must you always try to buck the fashion tide?

Anyway, the untuckable shirt must remain untucked, and wearing a belt under it results in buckle bulge. And this is why my pants are sagging.

God. You never knew that getting dressed could be so complicated, did you?

Let's move on to something more substantial and meaningful. Something like...

The Hills.

Ohgodyes, I watch it. I admit it. I am peeking through the fingers of my left hand as I type this with my right.

I watch The Hills.

(and so does my husband, but you didn't hear that from me)

I watch The Hills.

(when we went to Ireland, we programmed the VCR to record the two episodes we were going to miss)

I watch The Hills.

(it's basically the television equivalent of eating Pixie Stix for breakfast)

Ahhhhh. Now that I've admitted it, I feel so much lighter, so much more authentic! I want to stand up and wave both hands in the air and shout I WATCH THE HILLS!, even though it will cause my pants to slip even further down my hips.

I WATCH THE HILLS!

Am I alone in my shameful television viewing? Because I'd really love to dish about Spencer and Heidi.

(run, Heidi, RUN!)

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13 Comments:

Blogger Bearette24 said...

I never heard of it before ;) I couldn't tell from the link if it was a reality show or more of a soap opera. Anyway, it seems much less shameful than the one about Hugh Hefner's girlfriends ;)

5:34 PM  
Blogger Iamthebookworm said...

Well...its better than gaining weight which is what I do!

9:26 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

If I had MTV (or a television, period), I would totally watch The Hills. I just have to get my fix from the gossip mags.

Oh, and I feel you on the belt/shirt issue. I have the same debate many mornings---do I risk plumber's butt or do I deal with the untuckable shirt/belt combo?

10:00 PM  
Blogger laurie said...

aha, but if you ate pixie sticks for breakfast, you'd grow right back into those pants.

not sure what the hills is, but we all have our guilty pleasures.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

How to classify The Hills? It's like a reality soap opera. For some reason I am fascinated by these people who are ten years younger than me and appear to do little more than drive around in their BMWs, gossip, go clubbing, and sleep with each other.

I am totally jealous, in case you couldn't tell.

8:19 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

From what I know of the show, you couldn't pay me to watch The Hills. Sorry, no dishing here.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Oh, you guys are no fun. No fun at all.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Betsy said...

I do not watch The Hills (no cable. or tv at all...), but I religiously buy US magazine.

YOu're right. I feel so much lighter! LIke a weight has been lifted.

5:59 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

Because of my less-than-tone stomach, I never wear shirts that need tucking in, or even belts. Too uncomfortable.

Also, Deal or No Deal is back on the airwaves, and I'm too busy to watch it. This makes me want to cry.

9:28 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

I watched The Hills and totally loved it!! Like you said, a reality soap opera!!

Now, have you considered suspenders?? I have some extra weight if you want it!!

11:00 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

I had never heard of the The Hills but you intrigued me enough to search for it. I watched about 10 minutes of the Las Vegas episode on the net and 'oh man!'. If we had MTV I could totally get sucked in. My favorite line was "We're going to have so much fun!" (some chick jumping up and down clapping her hands) Of course you know she's going to be having all that fun while spending daddy and mummy's money. :)

I don't tuck in shirts. I've always been self-conscious about the pooch in front. Can I send you some of that and you can tack it onto your hips or wherever else it's needed?

9:41 AM  
Blogger The Goo said...

I appreciate your proper spelling of Sta-Puft.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Goo- as much as I hate to spell intentionally-misspelled words like that "properly", I must!

Donuts. EZ. Kool. Kwik. Sta-Puft.

Does butchering the English language really save us that much time?

12:44 PM  

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