Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Lunch: On Losing It

On Tuesday I woke up at 5 a.m. and could not get back to sleep. Unlike the last time this happened, I didn’t toss on my sweatpants and head out for a run. I just lay there, feeling strange, but unable to determine the root of the unease.

By 7:00 a.m. a dull headache had moved in and throbbed viciously whenever I had to bend down. Kneeling with a student and explaining how to locate the Physician’s Desk Reference using the scribbled call number was simply out of the question. “There,” I’d said, pointing at the bottom shelf. “It’s the big blue book.” A freebie.

Waves of nausea arose here and there, but quickly passed. In the afternoon I left for a dentist appointment. Arriving early, I visited the Whole Foods next door. Nothing looked good to me; every normally-pleasing scent was pungent and stomach-turning. I escaped to my car, where I reclined my seat and willed my stomach to calm down. Before climbing the stairs to my dentist’s office (eleven skull-shattering steps) I stuffed a plastic grocery bag in my pocket in case I had to hurl during the exam.

(Tip: the necessity of a barf bag is probably a sign that you should reschedule your appointment)

Thankfully, I did not lose my lunch during the check-up. I tried very hard NOT to think about what I’d had for lunch, or anything I had ever eaten in my entire life, or even the flavor of the tooth polish (Creamsicle). Still, I can’t help but imagine how impressed they would have been if I’d whipped out the barf bag.

“Wow!” Dr. Smith would say as I retched. “Most patients puke in the spit bowl, but Liz comes prepared! Give her TWO free toothbrushes today, Nina!”

(and if you puke into your own barf bag while in a dentist’s office, who handles the disposal? Do they, or is it more polite to take it with you?)

Back in my moving car, the nausea gripped me with clammy hands. I blasted the air conditioning, took deep breaths, and sucked on a peppermint, just hoping to make it home before the inevitable happened. But wouldn’t you know it, there was a car wreck 2 miles from my house and half the road was blocked.

At least ten strangers now know what I had for lunch yesterday, even though they tried not to look.

A bowl of soup for dinner failed miserably. I didn't even attempt breakfast this morning. My appetitie was MIA until this afternoon, when suddenly, urgently, I wanted Lay’s potato chips more than anything I’d ever wanted in my life, and I don't even like potato chips that much. I went down to the vending machine and bought one bag, then another.

It was the most delicious meal I’ve ever had.


Blogger BabelBabe said...

I'm sorry but you lost me at the Creamsicle tooth polish. YUCK.

You're not preggers, are you?

2:52 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Survey says no, babel.

And actually, I usually quite enjoy the creamsicle tooth polish, as much as one can enjoy tooth polish.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Caffeinated Librarian said...

Sorry you've been hit by the crud, but maybe the worst is over now. And that first meal back is fab, isn't it? Food never tastes so good as it does after you're sick.

10:47 PM  
Blogger nejyerf said...

if you puke into your own barf bag while in a dentist’s office, who handles the disposal?

I HATE when people quote back a post but this....this question is one for the ages. one to take with you to the wise man at the top of the mountain.

a question that would stump even emily post!!

12:06 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

I once vomited in the waiting room of my dentist's office when I was kid, after the appointment. They probably wished I had brought my own barf bag.

Sounds like maybe you had some 24-hour bug. I'm glad it sounds like you're feeling better now!

10:41 AM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

I have a dentist appointment coming up. I think I'll bring along a barf bag... you know, just in case. Hope you're feeling much better today!

3:15 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

Ick! I have to admit, I was ;)

4:43 PM  
Blogger Suse said...

Oh I was totally convinced this was a baby announcement so now I'm totally crushed.

7:39 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to mislead everyone. If at any time there is an actual baby on the way, you'll be the first to know.

After my husband, of course.

9:51 AM  
Blogger kj said...

glad you're feeling better, liz. i'm also glad i was not one of the chosen ten.


2:21 AM  
Blogger Iamthebookworm said...

I hope you are feeling better!

9:22 PM  
Blogger J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Wow! You managed to not puke at the dentist while feeling pukey? I'm impressed. Seriously. My gag reflex is such that I would have had to reschedule.

And FWIW, I didn't think "pregnant?" when I read this. I thought, "Ooogy, sick, bummer." :-)

10:42 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

This is the third blog that I've come across where there's an entry with possible signs of pregnancy and instead of chiming in with everyone else with an "OH, BABY!" I'm always thinking, well that sucks, I hope X is feeling better.

I'm totally going to be the woman who doesn't know she's pregnant until I'm about to give birth, because obviously I'm oblivious to most every symptom that would make a normal person think 'pregnant, duh!'

11:58 AM  

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