Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Fla la la la la

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes and the great song suggestions! It’s taking me a while to get through all of them, mostly because lately I seem to have the energy of a garden slug. I’m listening to everything, though, even the songs I already know, and will post my selections soon. You guys rock.

So I took the day off work yesterday with a couple of goals in mind: 1) a hair cut, and 2) Dude, Christmas is in a WEEK, You Are Officially That Person Who Waits Until the Last Minute (Finish Christmas Shopping).

The first goal was blown almost immediately. I drove 45 minutes to the salon during rush hour traffic, only to be told (perkily) by Tiffani Happy Holidays and we’re sorry, but Mary is home with a sick child today so would you like to reschedule?

I’m not angry with Mary for having a sick kid and needing to stay home. But if I cancelled an appointment at the last minute, I’d be charged a fee. Couldn’t they offer me a discount for my next visit or something? A small gesture would go a long way with me, is all I’m saying. I did appreciate Tiffani’s profuse! perky! apologies!, but unfortunately, apologies didn’t make my hair look better, or refund my precious hour of vacation time, or put the gas back in my car.

I’m still suffering from a small case of the mean reds, in case you haven’t noticed. And what better to improve my mood than a trip to the mall, a week before Christmas? FEEL THE EXCITEMENT. FEEEEEEEL IT.

So off I went to the mall, where I got a great parking space (ha!) and where I very stupidly went to Harry & David first (ha?), which meant that I had to lug 3,000 jars of assorted jellies and dips and spice rubs around for the rest of the day.

Next I went to Spencer’s, where the horrified look on the teenage clerk’s face told me that I really have no business shopping in Spencer’s anymore. Who cares? I have enough "PIMP" beer steins and marijuana leaf-shaped belt buckles, anyhow.

I also went to Hallmark because I wanted one of those singing, jiggling, snowman-on-a-sled things. And I got one! And I love it!

Sadly, Alex is less enthusiastic:

Trauma Begins at Home from Liz on Vimeo.

(as I was testing the video, Alex heard it and made a beeline for the office. Now he's sitting beside me, whining as though urgently trying to warn me that the singing dog toys have invaded the second floor of the house, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME, WOMAN?)

Anyhow, shopping is finally, blessedly done. I think we've officially crossed every name off the gift list. Perhaps you're wondering what kinds of things we buy for our friends, eh? Yes! I'm sure you want to know!

Wouldn't you like to be the lucky neighbor who gets this fabulous prize?

Or THIS holiday favorite, perhaps?

Hey, don't judge. It’s what they wanted. We give from the heart, man.

(I also gave a co-worker a beribboned roll of Glad Press n' Seal today, and she was thrilled. I'm so glad my friends are easy to please.)

Okay folks, I've got some more iTunes trolling to do, so I'm off. Also, I think my dog is hiding in the bathtub again.

Damn that Hallmark and their terrifying holiday novelties.

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Blogger His suzy said...

Poor Alex!! I'm almost feel a little guilty that his trauma provides such amusement for the rest of us. lol

And I'm with you about the hair place. An apology just isn't enough. Next time you make an appt. make sure they have your phone number so they can call and save you the trip. I learned that one the hard way myself.

7:51 PM  
Blogger Zen Master said...

Alex's look when you made it play again is priceless!

My cats already know when I say "What is this?" to get the hell out of dodge.

They're no fun anymore! lol

8:13 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Poor Alex. I guess there is something sinister about automated singing ;)

Actually, the video made me relate to him again -- when i was 4 or so, my siblings gave me a little 45 that played a Happy Birthday song, with rockets going off in the beginning. It scared me so much!

9:08 PM  
Blogger Caffeinated Librarian said...

You are an evil, evil woman.

I can hear the internal dialog now:

Liz: "What's wrong buddy?"
Alex: "What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! Do you have ears, woman? Do you have eyes? There's three little fuzzy singing things on the table! Is this normal for you?"

10:55 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

suzy- there was a message on my answering machine (does anyone else still use an answering machine?) from the salon when I got home, but I was already well on my way when they called.

Zen- Alex trusts me, and I abuse that trust so I can exploit him on the Internet. Caffeinated Librarian is right- I am evil.

I think Alex is making his peace with it, though this morning he ran straight to the office, looking for the singing snowman. He is convinced that it's hiding somewhere.

7:13 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

i like how he has a slight white sock on one paw.

2:14 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

I feel bad for Alex but at least you didn't dress him in a holiday sweater like my wife did to my poor dogs!! They struggle out of them only to have darned things put back on!

I'm glad you found me on Spaces. It was just too much work (because I'm lazy) to keep up 2 blogs. I wish I could play music here!! That would help. Please visit again, OK?

Your commenters are still the best!!!

7:31 PM  
Blogger J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I've been going back and forth on whether to get the holiday horn-dog sled from Hallmark this year. Every time I see it on t.v. though, I have dirty thoughts. The penguin is orgasmic and the dog is humping the front of the sleigh. As a result, I can't even begin to hear the music and think it's cute.

(And now I've officially ruined it for you, too, huh? Sorry. But I mean, really? Who thought that kind of live action would be a good idea?)

11:25 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

My mom actually has the same one. She thinks it's the barking dog that alarms Alex the most :)

1:00 PM  

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