Fla la la la la
So I took the day off work yesterday with a couple of goals in mind: 1) a hair cut, and 2) Dude, Christmas is in a WEEK, You Are Officially That Person Who Waits Until the Last Minute (Finish Christmas Shopping).
The first goal was blown almost immediately. I drove 45 minutes to the salon during rush hour traffic, only to be told (perkily) by Tiffani Happy Holidays and we’re sorry, but Mary is home with a sick child today so would you like to reschedule?
I’m not angry with Mary for having a sick kid and needing to stay home. But if I cancelled an appointment at the last minute, I’d be charged a fee. Couldn’t they offer me a discount for my next visit or something? A small gesture would go a long way with me, is all I’m saying. I did appreciate Tiffani’s profuse! perky! apologies!, but unfortunately, apologies didn’t make my hair look better, or refund my precious hour of vacation time, or put the gas back in my car.
I’m still suffering from a small case of the mean reds, in case you haven’t noticed. And what better to improve my mood than a trip to the mall, a week before Christmas? FEEL THE EXCITEMENT. FEEEEEEEL IT.
So off I went to the mall, where I got a great parking space (ha!) and where I very stupidly went to Harry & David first (ha?), which meant that I had to lug 3,000 jars of assorted jellies and dips and spice rubs around for the rest of the day.
Next I went to Spencer’s, where the horrified look on the teenage clerk’s face told me that I really have no business shopping in Spencer’s anymore. Who cares? I have enough "PIMP" beer steins and marijuana leaf-shaped belt buckles, anyhow.
I also went to Hallmark because I wanted one of those singing, jiggling, snowman-on-a-sled things. And I got one! And I love it!
Sadly, Alex is less enthusiastic:
Trauma Begins at Home from Liz on Vimeo.
(as I was testing the video, Alex heard it and made a beeline for the office. Now he's sitting beside me, whining as though urgently trying to warn me that the singing dog toys have invaded the second floor of the house, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME, WOMAN?)
Anyhow, shopping is finally, blessedly done. I think we've officially crossed every name off the gift list. Perhaps you're wondering what kinds of things we buy for our friends, eh? Yes! I'm sure you want to know!
Wouldn't you like to be the lucky neighbor who gets this fabulous prize?
Or THIS holiday favorite, perhaps?
Hey, don't judge. It’s what they wanted. We give from the heart, man.
(I also gave a co-worker a beribboned roll of Glad Press n' Seal today, and she was thrilled. I'm so glad my friends are easy to please.)
Okay folks, I've got some more iTunes trolling to do, so I'm off. Also, I think my dog is hiding in the bathtub again.
Damn that Hallmark and their terrifying holiday novelties.