Monday, February 18, 2008

Symptoms may include sleeplessness, pineapple cravings, and wearing the same three outfits over and over again.

Thus far, pregnancy has been relatively easy. There have been lots of changes, to be sure, and not all of them pleasant. But compared to some of my girlfriends, I’ve had a pretty easy time of it.

First, I haven’t vomited. Not a single time. Dry heaves, I’ve had a few, and nausea was an issue for several weeks, but even that wasn’t as bad as I know it could have been. I know, you all hate me, don’t you? My mom said she didn’t have any sickness with her three pregnancies, so I guess the luck is in the genes.

The nausea usually surfaced for two reasons: 1) I was hungry, or 2) I ate (or simply thought about) a food that turned my stomach.

The worst nausea was in the wee hours of the morning. I’d often wake up needing to pee at 4 a.m., and I’d tip-toe into the bathroom, gingerly lower myself onto the toilet, and pray that my stomach didn’t notice that I was up. But, ho! It always noticed! And it would become quite nasty and rudely demand a feeding. Many saltines and glasses of milk were consumed at the kitchen counter while the dog worriedly ran upstairs and down, anxious for all the pack members to be back in bed where they belonged. OMG! This wasn’t on the schedule! What are you DOING?

For a while, deciding what I wanted to eat was a time-consuming and often pointless venture. I’d spend an hour hemming and hawing, imagining this dish or that, and finally go with whatever didn’t make me want to spew. And then, just as it was about to become mine, ALL MINE, I’d change my mind.

The only thing I’ve craved consistently is fruit. Fresh pineapple? Come here, lover. Last week I ate almost an entire one by myself and my tongue will never be the same. We buy ridiculously expensive, out of season things that we would normally never put in the cart: bags of cherries, boxes of strawberries, pints of raspberries. I love them all.

Sleep: I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in quite a while. I guess “tired” will be a way of life from here on out. It’s nature’s way of preparing you for the baby! my neighbor said cheerfully. I threw a pineapple at her head.

Weight: I haven’t gained much weight yet, but apparently my boobs saw the positive pregnancy test back in December and immediately rose to the occasion. Right off the bat I couldn’t wear any of my button-down work shirts unless I had a sweater on over them, because hello! No one wants Pamela Anderson at the reference desk.

Or do you?

Never mind, don’t tell me.

I finally broke down and went to a department store yesterday, where I spent two hours trying on clothes. I ended up buying a roasting pan. This is so completely typical of me, but hey! I got that pan for 75% OFF. Acknowledge my greatness, Earthlings.

I was too embarrassed to return home without a stitch of new clothing so I did end up going back for a new pair of yoga pants. That’s a nice, professional look for the office, right?

No? How about if I pair them with some sensible heels and a bustier?

Too late.

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8 Comments:

Blogger BabelBabe said...

i gave away most of my maternity clothes just before you told us you were pregnant. dammit. if i find any of the good stuff still here, want me to ship it on down? i know i have one eggplant colored shirt that I loved so much I couldn't bear to give it away even though it's definitely maternity. i would be happy to give it to a pregnant person i know, though, as opposed to a goodwill bag...

11:46 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

You know I love eggplant. I will gratefully accept anything you feel like shipping. Thanks, Babel!

I'll email my address...

12:35 PM  
Blogger Sweet Irene said...

I was morning sick with both my pregnancies and didn't gain an ounce at first. Certain smells I couldn't stand, such as the smell of my husband's deodorant.

In the end, it does get better and you become happily pregnant and you get that lovely belly, which means you are never alone.

And then you really are never alone again. Boy, don't you know it! Enjoy your free time while you can, but babies? You love them to bits no matter how often they awaken you at night.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Frema said...

During my first trimester when I felt nauseous all the time, grapes were some of the only things I could eat, so we bought tons of them. Also, Rice-A-Roni, though it would take me half an hour to finish it.

1:44 AM  
Blogger Kay said...

Holy crap, I go on a business trip and come back to find out that you're pregnant?! (Actually, you were pregnant long before the business trip, but still...)

Congratulations to you and Mike! That's so exciting!

You're in really good company with Amalah and Miss Zoot and Bearette et al.

5:35 PM  
Blogger His suzy said...

So is Mike enjoying living with Pamela Anderson, librarian style? lol

8:02 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

You will be glad you bought that roasting pan later!! How is that 'Yo Mama' yogurt working out??? LOL

Funny post!!

Oh, man!! Your 'Word Verification' is NASTY today!!! Back at ya Blogger!!!!

7:40 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

So you and Bearette both got visits from the booby fairy! Hee.

6:42 PM  

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