Okay, FIRST THINGS FIRST. I fell asleep well before the Project Runway finale last night, so do not mention anything about it, please, HMMM HMMM HMMMMMM, I CAN’T HEAR YOU. We taped it (yes, we actually tape things with an old-fashioned VCR, aren’t we quaint?) and will be watching it tonight. Tonight! For today, I’m sporting ear plugs and a blindfold.
(and if Christian won? Oh god. I can only imagine that he will be completely and utterly insufferable. I heard him say that he just acts like a diva for the camera, but COME ON. No one could fake that level of condescension.)
(okay, now shhhh!)
And now for my big announcement: Paste a gold star on my chart, for yesterday I managed to put together a comfortable, attractive outfit!
I’d purchased two cap-sleeved empire-style tops at an Ann Taylor when we were in Florida for Christmas. Naturally, everything in the store was geared toward Florida winters, so the tops we more like something I’d wear for spring in the DC area. I’d tucked them away for warmer weather and forgotten all about them until yesterday, when the sun was shining and the temperature was predicted to reach the mid-60’s. It was still too chilly to wear them alone, but I paired the berry pink-and-black print with a black cardigan, my favorite black pans (deemed “favorite” because I can still wear them and they are not the tan pair), and a chunky beaded necklace, and I thought I looked pretty fierce.
Well, as fierce as I can possibly look these days, anyhow. Mike was all excited when I got home because for the first time, I really looked pregnant. At fifteen-plus weeks, I guess it’s time to look pregnant. And hey! I still look pregnant today, so I guess it wasn’t just my huge bladder. Still, I remember a friend of mine crowing at five months that she could still wear all her regular pants.
(yes, she’s an alien)
Yesterday’s Outfit of Heavenly Alignment was in stark contrast to Monday’s outfit, which was thrown together out of sheer desperation. Tan pants (the other pair that’s still wearable, but I hate them) and a shlumpy sweater that’s about four sizes too big for me.
Trust me, it was not good. I looked and felt shlumpy all day. I don’t think shlumpy is even a word, but somehow it is still completely accurate. I shlumpily sat at the reference desk all day, then I got into my shlumpy car and drove home.
(I guess it’s time to invent a new word, since I can’t blunk
I’ve heard many pregnant women say that from the moment they announced their blessed state, others jumped in with unwanted advice. Strangely enough, I haven’t really encountered this, but my husband has. I think it’s because he works with lots of women, most of whom are currently gestating and raising kids, so they feel that they have a lot to contribute. I work with lots of women who are done raising their kids (dun dun DUN
, the graying of the profession!), so my pregnancy is something of a novelty.
The thing I find disheartening is how eager some people are to jump in with dire warnings and grim predictions.
We enjoy traveling.
- You’ll never do that again!
- Just wait- even the local grocery store will seem like too far to go.
- Hope you took lots of pictures in Europe
We enjoy cooking and eating good, healthy food.
- Ha! You won’t keep up with that.
- Chicken nuggets! You’ll have to buy them because that’s what kids like to eat.
- I’ve heard of babies that have died from vegetarian diets!
We have hardwood floors.
- Oh, man- kids will tear those up in no time!
- That’s going to make it difficult when your kid learns to walk.
- I heard of a baby that was killed when it fell and hit its head on a wood floor!
We have a dog.
- I hope the baby doesn’t have allergies.
- I knew a couple who had to put their dog to sleep after the baby was born.
- I heard of a baby that drowned in the dog’s water dish!
And on and on. A father-of-three friend of Mike’s stopped by the other day and had completely deconstructed our house within three minutes. “Yup, you’ll have to get rid of that and move the plants and put a safety lock on that and cover that up and blah blah blah.”
People think they’re being helpful, I know this. Look, we’re not idiots. We know life is going to change, and we’re even smart enough to realize that we won’t fully grasp the magnitude of that change until after the baby is here. Yes, we’ll have to rearrange our house. Yes, we’ll have to make do with less sleep. No, we won’t be able to afford to travel as much. Yes, I’ll probably want to kill myself at some point. Thank you for warning me.
But I will not be serving chicken nuggets every night. I know that for damn sure.
Labels: If You Can't Say Something Nice..., Pregnancy