Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Dog, as in "sick as"

I'm home sick today because I have this nagging feeling that I will be really sorry if I get more than five feet away from the toilet. I got up, got dressed, and was about to leave for work when I realized that I just couldn't do it. Currently I am not wearing pants, because my nauseous tum can't stand to have anything touching it right now.

Anyone still here?

Just in case, I will not go into further details. Except to say that I am looking back on last night's vomit session with a warm fondness, because I've always been the kind of person who prefers action and efficiency to indecision and dilly-dallying. If my stomach wants to rebel, fine, but LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

My mom and I had great success on Monday. First we met Mike at the midwife's office, where we heard the baby's heartbeat going nice and strong. Naturally, my mom burst into tears. The midwife seemed compassionate but not alarmed, so I took that as a good sign. Then Mike went back to work while the ladies embarked on Operation: Maternity Clothes.

I was pleasantly surprised by the whole experience. My expectation was that I would try on thousands of pieces and not find anything that I liked, because that is my typical shopping experience. I also expected everything to be to be hideous and way overpriced, but that wasn't the case, either. The prices were mostly okay for what I was buying: fairly cheaply-made clothing that I only plan to wear for a few months. 100% organic Egyptian cotton designer maternity socks were certainly not on the list.

(Mike and I are chaperoning a high school prom in May and my sister said, "Well, you might as well buy a really nice dress so you can have it for the next baby, too." If you have any questions as to your future reproductive activities, give her a call!)

We had a good howl over the fake bellies. Maternity stores have these rounded pads that you can strap around your waist to see what the clothes will look like when your belly is larger than the state of Delaware. The first belly they gave me in the Motherhood Maternity store was oddly-shaped and made me look like I was trying to smuggle a breadbox under my shirt. I looked in the mirror and started laughing, which made the breadbox belly jerk up and down, which set my mom off, and eventually the sales woman found me in a heap on the dresssing room floor, gasping for breath as tears streamed down my face.

I'll take parenthood more seriously, I promise.

We even found a pair of shorts and some jeans, which are the items that usually have me banging my head against the dressing room wall. Jeans, how I've missed you!

(by the way, I've gone to two Old Navy stores and neither one carried maternity wear. I'm assuming that only certain locations have it??)

The problem is that while some of the new clothes look okay on me right now, I'll have to grow into the rest of them. So I'm still left with very few things that fit. I did buy a knock-off Bella Band (they called it a "Belly Sleeve"), so I'll try that with some of my regular pants. In the meantime, I might also buy a couple of button-down shirts in larger sizes, because seriously, do the boobs really need to spring into action so early in the game? It really would be better if they could just sit back and relax until the eighth or ninth month. I guess they just get super-excited at the thought of achieving their life's purpose, kind of like when I was a little kid and I kept an alphabetical index card file of every fact I ever learned. Only later did I realize that I was recreating the encyclopedia.

Oh well, it was a good idea. Twice.

Edited to add:

I forgot to mention Project Runway! Okay, it was sort of touching when Christian cried upon winning, but still. Don't you hate the way the runners-up are so unceremoniously dumped? Poor Jillian! She puts days of work into something that ultimately makes the TV execs lots of money and all they say is, "Jillian, YOU'RE OUT." Harsh, man.

Also, I liked Rami's collection more than I expected to. That is all.

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Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Yay! Midwives! I love 'em!
My favorite thing my midwife said to me, while I stood on the office scale (looking sorta grim as she kept tapping that little weight over and over and over...): "Well. You're not really pregnant until you hit 200."
Sorry to hear about the sickness. Personally, I always thought a little cheese or chocolate helped with that kind of thing!

11:08 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

I guess not all Old Navy locations have maternity wear...they do have it at their website, That's where I got my bathing suit.

Mary Ellen - I really hope I don't reach that point!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Nausea, yuck! Since my most naseous pregnancy was a girl, I'm predicting a girl for you. See how scientific I am!

Get well soon.

1:20 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Mary Ellen- I love 'em, too. :) And saltines. I don't know how I ever lived without saltines before I was pregnant.

Bearette- maybe I'll call and see if there's an ON nearby that carries maternity wear. I don't often have good luck with ordering unknowns online (in terms of the fit).

Caro- thanks. I'm feeling a lot better now, after a lengthy nap and some cranberry juice. Sometimes you just have to drive to the store and buy the one thing that sounds appetizing, ya know?

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jillian was robbed! christian is talented but way too annoying.

11:56 AM  
Blogger J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Oh, sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Blech. Not fun.

But, glad to hear you've found some fashion for your new figure. Yeah! That's always inspiring, isn't it.

Feel better soon!

P.S. My word verification is kxhurk. Hm. Hurking. Like hurling, but with emphasis!

9:16 PM  
Blogger Aynde said...

For me at 35 weeks "it will all be over soon" gets a little annoying so I won't say it to you. :)

I will though share my upset tummy reliever. I was so sick at the beginning of this pregnany and a friend told me to boil rice with carrots, celery and chicken broth. Me it not too solid but not too mushy. Add salt if you need to. I went ahead and put some little pieces of cut up chicken in mine. It was a lifesaver. :)

I enjoyed reading your posts! Found you via Libby!

10:35 AM  

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