Thursday, May 15, 2008

They're all wrong! "The Secret" is the lasagna you made four days ago.

It’s funny how I lose track of how far along I am now. In the beginning I counted down day by day, and now I can’t even manage to calculate how many months I am. The other day Mike said, “She has three more months!” and I argued, “No, it’s more than that!” But really, it’s not. Somehow it’s been sneaking up on me. So now when people ask how far along I am, I just tell them my due date.

I continue to get surprised looks from people when I say August 26th. A couple of nights ago I was at an event attended by many acquaintances who haven’t seen me in a few months. One woman actually let her mouth hang open for an extended period of time upon hearing my due date.

“What?” I finally asked, trying to hide my sudden flair of irritation. “Does that seem too early, or too late?”

“You’re just so tiny!” she said.

So on the way home I had to call my mother and confirm that I am not crazy and my body is working just fine and the baby is an average size, as many medical professionals have already told me.

Ignoring people definitely seems to be the key to sanity.

Yesterday, a friend who is also a nurse stopped by to ask how I’ve been feeling.

“Great!” I said. “Tired, but good.”

“Do you have hypertension?” she asked.

Uh…

“No,” I said.

“Your lips look a little puffy.”

“Oh, that.” I said. “I just got Restylane injections. I’m going for a Pamela Anderson look, since I’ve already got the big chest. Now I just need a tiny pair of maternity cut-offs.”

She stared at me, horrified.

“KIDDING.”

I checked myself out in the mirror the next time I went to the bathroom. My lips looked perfectly normal.

I guess I can’t win. It used to bother me when people repeatedly asked why I didn’t have any children, was I planning to, did I think I was getting any younger, didn’t I like children? Now I’m trying to produce one but my progress is not to their liking.

TOO BAD.

In other news, I forgot to tell you that we had Mike’s mom and her husband over for a Mother’s Day brunch last Sunday. I was pleased with the way the food came out, so I’ll post some recipes soon. I made baked breakfast burritos with fresh red peppers, onions, spinach, and dill, a loaf of yogurt herb bread, a fruit salad, broiled asparagus, and little apple turnovers.

That evening I also made my veggie lasagna for Mike, since it’s his favorite and he’s been doing so many nice things for me. Actually, his very favorite is these stuffed shells that I make that have roasted butternut squash and pecans and such inside, but they’re pretty time-consuming. At the end of what seemed like a 24-hour cooking marathon, I was hobbling around the kitchen like a little old lady.

We’ve been eating the lasagna for four nights running and I’m not sick of it yet. Why? Because you just cut a big slice, put it on a plate, and stick it in the microwave for three minutes.

Bliss.

Plus, you can eat an awful lot of fresh pineapple in three minutes, if you put your mind to it.

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11 Comments:

Blogger Bearette24 said...

I heard that fresh pineapple heals, um, tears after delivery :) Eating it, of course...

10:29 AM  
Blogger lacochran said...

When people say "but you're so tiny" what they're really saying is "but I got as big as a house!" Ignore them.

5:38 PM  
Blogger J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Pineapple, yum! As for people commenting on the size of pregnant, well, to quote Madeline Kahn: "HOW wude!"

7:34 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

I totally agree with lacochran.

I love leftovers. You get the pleasure of a home-cooked meal without all the work. Mmmmmm, fresh pineapple. I see you haven't tired of it yet. :)

11:39 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Mmmmm, pineapple. I bought some a few days ago (canned) and mixed it in with strawberries and bananas. Then I made fruit and yogurt parfaits. Yummy.

11:19 AM  
Blogger katze said...

You can also use my favorite technique: I fix the speaker with my iciest look and say "My goodness. How embarassing for you to have said something so rude." Then I walk away.

Version #2 goes like this: wait for nosy person to finish their yapping, reply "Thank you for sharing your opinion." Walk away. This one can be spiced up as necessary with the addition of a qualifier such as "unsolicited", r "unwanted", or "ill-informed".


I was just thinking about this sort of thing after reading these posts: http://babyonbored.blogspot.com/2008/05/im-gonna-let-it-fly.html

and

http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/2008/05/sometimes-i-get-it-right-and-others.html

I don't know how more parents don't end up turning to Rob's response, if the experiences of some of my favorite bloggers are indicative of what you can expect once you start having children. Whatever happened to "live and let live"?

12:43 AM  
Blogger Robbie said...

What used to really irritate me was people touching your belly - like they would do that if you weren;t pregnant! Unfortunately I did not have the presence of mind to say anything then just seethed. Older and wiser now... just ignore anything you don't want to hear - focus on yourself, your baby and your journey not someone else's - good luck

3:13 AM  
Anonymous Betsy said...

Wouldn't you rather have people amazed at how small you are than how huge you are?

7:07 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I'd prefer that people just keep any observations about size to themselves. Both kinds of comments can trigger worry and self-consciousness if you hear them often enough. And rest assured that if you feel the need to say it, 500 other people have already done so.

"You look great!" is nice to hear. "You look so huge!" or "You look so small!" are not.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

Yes, the repetition is almost the worst part. And each person thinks s/he's the first one to make the observation...

1:53 PM  
Blogger rudecactus said...

Ignoring people is always the key to sanity ;)

3:23 PM  

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