Friday, June 20, 2008

Hiking Mount Hormone

I spent Monday morning puking. At the time I assumed this was a random morning sickness sniper attack, but on Tuesday I still felt weird. On Wednesday night, dizziness struck so suddenly that I wondered if I could drive myself home from work. When I finally got there, I spent the night trying not to move as the room spun in lazy circles and my uterus tightened with frequent, painless contractions. Mike was out of town and I mentally made a list of who I could ask to drive me to the hospital, if it came to that. At some point, I fell asleep.

The next morning I cautiously opened one eye and found the room blessedly still. The contractions had stopped. The baby was moving as usual. I felt better and better as the day progressed and saw no need to visit the midwives.

But this morning I missed my baby’s customary wriggling as I got out of bed. There was no excited response to my glass of cold orange juice. No somersaulting as I drove to work. By the time I got there, the uterine silence was deafening.

“YOU IDIOT,” I told myself. “You killed your baby!”

Tears welling, I gently prodded my belly. I bent at the waist and straightened up. I jiggled up and down. I drank a glass of cold water. I speed-walked up and down the hallway. I got on all fours and crawled back and forth behind my desk. Finally, as the tears were spilling over and I was reaching for the phone to tell Mike that I’d killed our son…


And he hasn’t stopped moving since.

A punch in the bladder never felt so wonderful.

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Blogger Bearette24 said...

Yeah, I remember that panic. I think they are just sleeping, though.

1:01 PM  
Blogger Zen Master said...

How terrifying. Just reading your post made my breath catch.

I wonder what caused the dizziness and stuff.

I'm glad everything is ok.

1:21 PM  
Blogger His suzy said...

I'm glad everything is okay too! I could tell by the tone of your post that it would be, but I still got a little nervous for you!

3:42 PM  
Blogger nejyerf said...

just reading this made me nervous and dizzy!

what do you suppose made you so dizzy?

7:02 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

I don't know if I'd put that in the Senseless Worry category. Maybe Motherly Instincts?

4:38 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Yikes, I'd have been scared too. But the vision of you crawling on all fours was entertaining.

8:08 PM  

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