Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I don't know what this is about

Look at my fetus, blogging already. Him's a wee wittle narcissist, oh yes him is!

(sorry, I should have warned you to don your protective eyewear before viewing my white, white belly)

Project Offspring Update: Saw the midwife on Monday. She gave me a big hug when she came in, which is one more reason that I love midwives. She said I am measuring perfectly and that all the people who continue to tell me how small I am can shut it.

Actually, the most popular comment received these days is, "Have you dropped?"

Aiiieeeee! NO.

He just likes to hang low, that's all. It actually does look kind of funny, especially when I view my bare belly from the side. I don't have a round bump. It looks more like I swallowed a football and it's just lounging in my stomach hammock.

Stomach hammock? I have no idea.

(sounds like a product I should think about inventing. Suggestions?)


He is really active, to the point that I actually asked our childbirth instructor if there was any such thing as a fetus moving too much. This was after I sat through the first hour of class, positive that absolutely everyone in the room must be staring in horror at my jumping, bumping belly. I mean, my god, it was like he was doing a one-man performance of Flashdance: The Musical!

No, said the childbirth educator, there's no such thing as too much movement. Although she did laugh and mention that sometimes behavior in the womb is a preview of a child's personality.

"Oh no," I said to Mike. "Maybe he'll have to be on a kid leash, like you were."

"I don't even think they made kid leashes back then."

"Maybe your mom knit her own."

"Aw, I was a good kid."

"Yes, but they had to butter your head when you got it stuck in the banister."

"I didn't-"

"Twice."

Well, Mike grew into a very calm, kind, thoughtful person, so I'll hang onto that as the baby pummels my bladder.

I barely slept last night, awakened multiple times by hip pain and bathroom needs and hunger and the clicking ceiling fan and the dog dreaming of tearing down the hill behind our house and my husband breathing.

I know! The nerve. All that breathing he was doing. At one point I actually whispered, "Please stop breathing!" but quickly added, "So loudly."

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14 Comments:

Blogger BabelBabe said...

my eyes, my eyes! oh please. You are TINY, btw. In a good healthy pregnant way. In other words, you look WONDERFUL.

10:09 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

A stammock :)

Better the dropped question than the twins question - 4 times today! Also, an old lady told me not to eat. Can you imagine? I guess she was afraid I'd go into labor.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Babel- thank you. It's the people who say I'm tiny as their eyes are bugging out of their heads that get to me. Also the people who ask if I'm "sure" that I'm due at the end of August.

No, I just randomly picked that date. Could be March 2010 for all I know.

Bearette- stammock! Nice.

Four times in one day? That's terrible. Hang in there... he'll be out soon and then perfect strangers can start criticizing your parenting choices. :)

9:25 AM  
Blogger His suzy said...

Animals crack me up when they dream. Actually, people do too, sometimes.

So did Mike quiet down over there? lol

9:28 PM  
Anonymous Frema said...

Oh, my gosh, Liz, you are one adorable pregnant woman.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Roxanne said...

I had a midwife the second time around and was VERY happy with my choice to go that direction. I also had to compromise on the non-hospital vs. home birth issue. We ended up at a birth center, which was basically a converted older home. It was nice but I still would have liked not having to worry about the traveling back and forth during labor. I think that men tend to want reassurance that THEY will not be the one delivering their child. And that their wife/partner will have access to anything that's necessary during delivery. You know?

9:21 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Suz- he said he was having some bizarre dreams, which probably explains the heavy breathing. At least he doesn't snore. :)

Frema- thanks. I'm not feeling very adorable today so I appreciate that!

Rox- I think that's exactly it... he's just more comfortable knowing there's adequate help nearby if anything goes wrong.

My dad- wait for it- has suggested that we have a birth "manual" in the car in case we get stuck in traffic and Mike has to deliver the baby on the side of the road. I mean, in this area that scenario is not altogether impossible, but I'm not too worried about it. ;)

10:21 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

He' a maniac, maniac in the womb.

SJ kicked a LOT and he is a whirling dervish. Mwahahaha. The good news is they make leashes that are attached to little backpacks.

Once, as a child, I sat in a metal barrel in the back yard. My legs were too long and my grandma had to grease me out with cooking oil. I only did it once though.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

Oh and I forgot to add how cute your belly is. You look great. In the first pic, it looks kind of like the moon coming over the horizon. (a perfectly sized moon.)

1:26 PM  
Blogger R U Serious?? said...

You look GREAT!! White belly and all!! Did thet really have butter Mike's head... TWICE???

Well, as usual, I'm back to play catch-up!! About 2 weeks worth!

Take Care Mama!!

5:37 PM  
Blogger Bearette24 said...

!!!!! I love the bit about your dad. I bet he was a Boy Scout ;) You know, following their motto and all :)

11:23 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Bearette- I don't think he was ever in Boy Scouts, but he was a beach lifeguard, an EMT, and a firefighter. That may have something to do with it. ;)

Maybe I'll tell him that we'll just call him for assistance if I'm crowning on the Beltway...

8:38 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

caro- I'd give a lot to see a picture of you in that barrel.

Serious- yes, they actually did. I guess once wasn't enough for Mike.

8:40 AM  
Blogger kj said...

hi liz, it's great to see you so....pregnant! and....excited.
and.....ready.

i can tell 100% you are madly in love already. you and mike will be awesome parents!

:)

3:25 PM  

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