I thought Sunday night was the night. I really did. I was getting contractions that were pretty uncomfortable, pain radiating from my lower back to my abdomen. But after an hour, they stopped.
So I went to work in the morning and proceeded to exhaust myself. Not that it takes much, mind you. But my back was killing me and I was feeling crampy and so I was still thinking, "Well, maybe today!"
(Baby says, HAAAAAAAA! Also: hiccup.)
I should have worn a big shirt that said YES, I'M STILL HERE!, as every. single. person. who walked past the reference desk exclaimed, "You're still here?" New students who don't already know when my due date is smiled and asked when I'm due, barely able to conceal their horror when I answered, "Friday!"
Is it that crazy to work up until your due date (or beyond)? So long as I can make it through the weeks by taking a sick day here and there, I don't want to waste my maternity leave by sitting around at home.
There was a very amusing day when I walked into a staff meeting and heard a chorus of gasps. "I can't believe you came in!" my boss said. I'd been out the previous day due to a slight cold and general infirmity NOS, so I said, "It was nothing! I'm fine."
Later I found out that there was a miscommunication between her and the person I talked to when I called in sick, and somehow she got the idea that I was 8 centimeters dilated. In a fit of excitement she told a bunch of other people, so when I showed up at work the next day everyone thought I was freaking Wonder Woman.
It was kind of awesome. Yes, Wonder Liz can fly! Leap tall buildings in a single bound! Whip her own uterus into submission! Eight centimeters? It's nothing, I'm fine!
(Baby says, HAAAAAAAA!)
I have no idea if I'm any further dilated, as my next appointment is this Thursday. I have to admit I'll be pretty disappointed if there's been no progress, so I'm mentally prepared for the worst news.
Midwife: Sorry, Liz- your cervix has regressed so remarkably that you're not even pregnant anymore.
I can take it. Am Wonder Woman. Though seriously- I keep drifting into this dreamlike state where I feel certain I'll be pregnant forever. I don't mean that in a I'm so miserable and this baby is never coming out! way. Rather, I think I can't imagine existing in any other body. I am Pregnant. That is my identity. I am simply destined to carry a bowling ball in my belly for the rest of my life.
In other TMI, Mike had to go out and get some more KY for our perineal massage. He was planning to buy just the KY, nothing else, so I wondered if he would go through the self-checkout line to avoid embarrassment. But would that really avoid embarrassment? Those machines talk, and they talk loudly.
Machine: THANK you! Please place your KY JELLY on the BELT!
Machine: ERROR! ERROR! Please RE-SCAN your personal! LUBRICANT!
Machine: (lights flash and a siren wails) ALERT! ALERT! Please call a store clerk! to ASSIST you with your SEXUAL ENHANCEMENT AID!
Turns out he just took it to a cashier and wasn't embarrassed in the least. What a man.